March 1999

Entry... 3/1/99 9:33pm

Wow. Here it is March already. It's Monday, and it was a crazy day at work. No problems cropped up today that throwing a big pile of money at wouldn't fix. And that's just what we are doing. No thought or attention is given to the fact that, once again, bad management decisions got us here. So onward we go. Tomorrow I plan to be spending 20 grand of someone else's money.

We took pictures at band practice on Saturday. Things are sounding very good. We are starting to get bookings, and more importantly - *paid* ones. As a new band we will have to do our share of low priced or free gigs till we get established. We have a great gig for this purpose lined up. A benefit that is open to the public. Our target audience is not bars, really, but instead birthday/retirement/anniversary parties, and maybe the occasional wedding. When I get the rest of this roll shot (hmm, I need some picture ideas) I will get them developed.

Got a new employee at work today - well, actually we had 3 new employees, but let me talk about this one in particular - I stopped by his cube to give him the old technical orientation. He started looking at me oddly, and was tapping his cheek. I know that look. He recognized me from somewhere. So I didn't say anything. All of a sudden he says, "I think I know you." I've been made! Quick to the exits! Turns out that he was 3 years behind me in high school. He was good friends with a buddy of mine's little brother. Must have seen us hanging around the house when I was back in town for college breaks.

I've been having my usual insomnia lately. Getting a good average of 3 hours a night. Don't worry, I've been finding things to do with my time.

Wore my hair down and curly the last few days. Getting used to it this way, but I still am wishing my bangs would grow out more. I want to be able to just pull it back, and not have to goop it up. Hair needs to breath. Well, rather, my skull does.

On Saturday after I got home from band practice, I was really full of energy. By coincidence, the house was empty - I had it all to myself. So I went down to the basement and just laid into the drum kit. It was so fun. I played along with the sound track to Pulp Fiction, and did some jazzy type figures. Later on, I took my guitar downstairs and sang a few songs though the PA.

Entry... 3/5/99 10:04am

Well, welcome to March (again). Seems that dopey me forgot to let you all know that I had started a new page for March, and there was no link to this page from my main log page. There was one from February, if you looked closely, and luckily somebody did. So now all mny links should be fixed. Thank you!

I'm feeling pretty good today. Even with the oncoming blizzard tomorrow that is supposed to dump 6 inches of snow on our happy little hamlet. You all know how I feel about snow. Last night I went out to see a local band that wants to hire me to do a website for them. I sat at the bar, listened to the music, feel in and out of love, convinced myself that I should be up on stage entertaining people, talked myself out of that, convinced myself I should pack what I could into my car and head to the west coast and get a boat and disappear or get a job on a tramp steamer, talked myself out of that. Standard bar room thinking.

Work this week was an absolute nightmare. Things feel better today, but I know that it is just the calm before the next storm. What is the most frustrating is the perpetuation of terrible management and lack of planning that always seems to fall on the shoulders of our department to fix, solve, or just plain do (right now!). Typically, the worst situations require immediate action, and carry a ten thousand dollar price tag. No one ever questions the events that got us here, they only see the path out of the trouble. It's really amazing, but it's not my money, I guess. Fo-ged-da-bout-it!

Entry... 3/5/99 11:05am

Hey, remember that new employee that started this week? The one I went to high school with? Well, he lasted all of 2 days here. Yep, left already. I guess the job wasn't something he wanted. Anyone want to be a cobol programmer? Give a buzz. Extra bonus points of you didn't go to high school with me. I'll put in a good word for you. We're also looking for a permanent receptionist. Anyone?

This song has been in my head for the last couple of days. One of my favorite John Prine tunes. Read it here.

In the news today, Monica speaks out. So what. Clinton reportedly ignored her interview? Why can't we? In other more interesting news, they acquitted that pilot of all charges in the senseless deaths of those 20 skiers who were riding in a cable car in the Italian Alps. Justice? No. But sometimes accidents are not about justice, and do not require it.

Entry... 3/6/99 2:28am

Good morning! It's just about bed time for me here. Actually, it's a Friday night, and I have nothing planned at all for Saturday except for shoveling snow, so I believe I will go take off my clothes, slide into my warm bed, and read some more of "The Eden Express." I've been working on it for two weeks, and I haven't made much progress this week. I read a section that I wanted to share here, but I can't find it right now. I will. Soon, my pretties I will share again.

Speaking of sharing, it is sharing night. I have a new poem that I wrote last night on my random page. Click here to read it, and caution - it's not for the squeamish. I was surfing a number of web sites tonight (mostly band and personal journal home pages again) and one of the diarists quoted a Barenaked Ladies song that really fits my life. It is amazing how when really bad things happen in your life that they do work out to have some higher purpose that we are too short sighted to see when it occurs. So, click here for the song lyrics to Call and Answer.

I've been saving this random quote from Kurt Vonnegut's "Cat's Cradle" to share here, and as I said... it's sharing night.

"And what about young Philip Castle?"
"You mean boko-maru?"
"I mean anything and everything. As I understand it, you two grew up together."
"Yes"
"Bokonon tutored you both?"
"Yes." The recollection made her radiant again.
"I suppose there was plenty of boko-maruing in those days."
"Oh, yes!" she said happily.

Entry... 3/6/99 8:15pm

This weather saps me. All my creativity just seemed to pack and head to Florida this morning. Outside, the snow has been falling steady since early this afternoon, and it is piling high. I am still in my sweats, and other then vacuuming my room, I haven't done a single productive thing today. I just woke up from a nap. I got a little reading in, and just fell asleep under a blanket. My Brother called it a cocoon - I had it over my face, too. Earlier this afternoon I was able to respond to a few emails. My brother had some company over, and some of the company was a 3 year old girl. I was enlisted to sing her a song of choice, which turned out to be "Old MacDonald had a Farm". Just one more chorus, everyone, ok?!

Here's another couple Vonnegut quotes from the book "Cat's Cradle." If you haven't guessed, this is my favorite Vonnegut book.

"I praised in particular the way in which Julian Castle and his son had chosen to die. While the tornadoes still raged, they had set out on foot for the House of Hope and Mercy in the Jungle to give whatever hope and mercy was theirs to give."

..and...

"I was able, while mooning at her across the space that separated our bed, to imagine that behind her marvelous eyes lurked mysteries as old as Eve."

My housemate lost his Father yesterday (Not my Brother, he and I share one, and I would have started this entry a little differently if that were the case.) He is doing pretty well with it. He is in the midst of "Details," one of the many stages of loss that is left out of those clever psychological charts. All the planning, scheduling, calls to relatives, etc, that go along with a modern burial. Hmmm...I hear there's dinner waiting for me in the oven, and chocolate pie for dessert. I think I will go eat some of it and change the subject fast. But first, one more quote. I just saw it today in "The Eden Express," but it actually is Thoreau's words:

"No man ever profited by cursing his Father, no matter how much a curse his Father was to him."

Entry... 3/7/99 12:55am

I got a phone call from my Daughter tonight. I had tried to call her earlier in the day, but got to leave a message on the answering machine. We talked about her school, and projects, and also about her piano playing. She said something really cute, and since it's sharing time, I thought I would share it here. They had a substitute teacher one day when they were learning percentages, and the teacher basically gave up cause the boys were being too rowdy. I laughed, and told her I was like that when a sub came in, too. She sighed and said "Boys. They're the cause of it."

She's a pretty smart kid.

Entry... 3/8/99 4:11pm

Climbed in bed at 5 this morning. Think I dozed off around 5:21am. At least, that's the last time I consciously recall. Feeling pretty empty today. Hollowed out. Undirected. I feel there is something I should be doing to take control of this out of control bus, but I have no clue what that could possibly be. I may not even be in a position to even take control if I knew what to do. I feel more like I am laying on the ground, and the bus is racing for me.

Another typical freaking day here at work. Utter lack of consideration. No raises. No plan. No sense. Do, Monkey, Do. Jump, Monkey, Jump. I feel so used. How's that for a Monday?

Drown my sorrows. Desk pop can count up by 2 today, plus the others from last week. That takes us to: 68

Something by Tori Amos.

Entry... 3/9/99 12:37am

Entry... 3/9/99 2:48pm

I'm such a sweet guy. Yeah, ok, I know it. I'm not afraid to admit it. A coworker called me up today, and told me her computer crashed at home. She said that she normally wouldn't ask this, but her life is going nuts, and her son has an important paper to write for school, and he would use their computer - but he can't. So she asked if I had any old laptops laying around that she could borrow. I said, "Sure" and packed one up for her. Oh...stop. I know what you're thinking. Put the tissues away. I'll go talk mean to a dog this afternoon or something.

"I've wrestled with reality for over 35 years, and I'm proud to say I've won out over it." - Elwood P. Dowd, "Harvey"

Todays number is 3.

Desk pop can count: 70

Entry... 3/9/99 3:38pm

Been listening to some Rush CD's this afternoon. It's been awhile since I popped them in. It's nice. Like going home again. I feel like John Boy Walton, fresh from college, walking that last mile to the old homestead.

Are we all cracking up? I doctored this picture a bit just to make it pretty, but they are actually letting us know that every product they make is Y2K compliant! Check that next box of pencils you buy! They may not be!

Entry... 3/10/99 11:48pm

Hey, happy hump day. Got a couple pieces of good news tonight. First, my band has some paid gigs coming up! Woo Hoo! Now I can use the money to buy more toys!

I heard from some friends of mine Mike and Laurie who have announced that they are pregnant. Woo hoo! Congratulations!

When I got home from band practice, there was a message on my machine from my Daughter. She said she had good news. Well, the clock said it was exactly her bedtime, but I had to call her to hear the news. Sometimes she delays getting to bed as every good kid does, but today she was already in the sack. Her Mom got her up. So, the news was she got her report card, and got 4 A's! Woo hoo! Way to go, kiddo, I'm proud of you! I hear tell that she has a yellow belt exam in 2 weeks, as well.

I heard from another friend of mine who is in college. She took a test today and thinks she did really well on it. Woo Hooo!

And while we are on the happy thoughts - It's my Dad's birthday tomorrow! Happy birthday, Dad! I got a present in mind you might like!

Entry... 3/13/99 3:19pm

Wow, it's Saturday afternoon already. Been lazy this morning. Got up and cooked breakfast with my housemate (eggs, bacon, milk, coffee - all those wonderful high protein foods that help ward away schizophrenia), and then finished reading "The Eden Express". Next book up is "Half Asleep in Frog's Pajama's", which is Tom Robbins most recent book.

Talked to my Mom today a couple of times, trying to plan the logistics for tonight. We're all off to a housewarming party/doggie birthday party this evening, so we have to arrange who's following whom, what times, etc. My parents and I belong to the same yacht club, and she told me that the son of one of the members recently took his own life, right in the back yard of his parent's home. He was 30, and I guess still lived there. They are, of course, having a hard time with this. I won't share with you how he did it because those are the sort of thoughts people shouldn't be having. Bad chemicals. Maybe I should have cooked him some eggs, or made him a steak. But, I never knew him. He never came to the club.

I was reminded of the lyrics to a Rush song this week, so I thought that I would share them with you here.

Entry... 3/15/99 5:55am

Snow everywhere.

Isn't kind of sad that people are always searching for a happy ending? If you think about it, all of those movies and stories with happy endings; that end up with two people together despite all obstacles usually entail some sort of loss on the part of others in the story? Slain dragons, beaten villans, blown up boats, hundreds of suitors who didn't get a chance to knock her socks off (and who probably equally could have.) I am hoping that this is the case now. I don't want to be miserable for no good reason. Sometimes it is somebody else's turn for a happy ending. I hope they don't waste it.

Entry... 3/15/99 11:39pm

Went to Schenectady after work today to wish my Dad a happy birthday in person. My Brother and I went over together with the dog. We all had dinner together (veggie chili for Bro and chili with dead animal in it for the rest of us) and had a good time. Then we went upstairs to the computer room to install some new hardware that my Dad bought; and what a pain in the neck that was. I finally got it all working, but it was a hassle and a half.

On the way home from Scotia we saw a great billboard. It cracked me up! It said:

Entry... 3/17/99 12:15pm

There's a ghost living in my house. I'm serious. Doors open and shut. Locks get unlocked. Lately, the ghost has been having a bit of fun and turning down the temperature on the hot water heater. I got to have a nice lukewarm shower this morning. Everyone in the house claims that they aren't touching it, and when I went downstairs this morning to turn it up, it was well into "medium" heat, and not even near Hot.

I had lunch in the mall yesterday. I sat by myself and ate my foot long roast beef sub with russian dressing, and "people watched." I have been eating lunch alone a lot lately, don't have many friends left here at my company. I'll have to start bringing my book to work so I can read at lunch.

Last night was my volleyball night, and I went out afterwards with some folks that have asked me to join their summer league. We went out for a few beers and pizza, and we made a toast to the team. I didn't know the name of the team until the toast, and I had to smile and laugh when I found out that they are calling it "The Comets." That struck me as funny, and somehow appropriate. I got put in charge of getting the t-shirts, and designing them. We're all going to have numbers on the back of them, so I am going to be #13.

When I got home, my brother was hanging out and asked if I wanted to jam for awhile. Well, you know I did! So we descended into the basement, and had some fun making loud noises for an hour or so. He wrote some neat riffs on the guitar, and I tried my best to keep up with him on the drums. It was fun, especially this one funky thing we did in an odd time signature that I put a wigged out vocal to. I think we should start running tape on this stuff.

Here's a couple web sites for you to check out. Click here for Duct Tape and here for WD-40. I had another one that I wanted to share with you, but I guess that it got closed down. All that is left on the site is a rather rude page telling the people who shut down it down exactly what to do to themselves. Nasty.

Desk pop can count: 71

Entry... 3/18/99 1:32am

Hey, happy belated St. Patricks Day. I mean to mention this yesterday, but I guess I forgot. I wore green to work, of course. Gotta show my Irish! I went out after work with some friends and we went dancing and drinking, and had a great time. I changed out of my work clothing and wore no green out to the bar, and didn't get pinched at all! We ended up having coffee at my friend's house afterwards, and watched the start of some really terrible adult drama on Cinemax. Then I came home and did the trash, surfed some web sites, and now I am ready to actually get some sleep tonight. Only took two nights of tossing and turning and four pints of beer to finally wear me down. Sweet dreams.

Oh, forgot to update this after I went to lunch yesterday, too. Desk pop can count: 73

Entry... 3/18/99 11:11am

Power outage this morning at work. Luckily, the UPS system keep the systems up, and still had time left when the power returned. It always makes for a bit of a mess. We did lose one server power supply in the bloody fray. Of course, the poor squirrel who got into the sub station lost more than that. With everyone panicking and calling for help, it reminded me of an old cartoon I saw once with Timmy and Lassie. Timmy was hanging from a cliff, and yelled to Lassie to go run and get help. In the next frame, Lassie is laying on a psychiatrists couch.

I picked up my order of Girl Scout cookies this morning ("Are they made out of real Girl Scouts?") It took forever for them to come in - I almost forgot that I even ordered them. I must have been hungry when I ordered them. I have 6 boxes. Breakfast is served! And not a minute too soon, either. I skipped dinner last night. I require food. Feed me. Oooo... a samoa? Yes, please... yum!

Entry... 3/18/99 11:53am

It's time for your weekly horoscope, and I find this guy amazing. Check out your horoscope today at Real Astrology.

Entry... 3/18/99 1:22pm

Hey, two things coming up that are interesting. Well, at least, I find them interesting. This Saturday at 8:46pm the Vernal Equinox begins. That means there will be more light than dark during our days here on this planet. Till we tilt away from the sun again. And in sports news, the NFL has approved the use of instant replay for this coming season. Yes.. it's baaaack. IR was used from 1986 to 1991, and then it took a much needed break, but now we look forward to it's much needed return.

Entry... 3/18/99 6:10pm

Ever stand right next to a storm and not be in it? Those rare moments when you are outside during the summer, and a storm is moving in, and suddenly you realize that you can actually physically see the wall of rain moving towards you? Sometimes you can walk away from it, until it catches you. Sometimes you welcome this intrusion, allowing the water to spill over your body, soaking your clothing. You may laugh and throw open your arms. Today, while I was at work, I was facing the window, and it started to rain (or a mixture of rain and sleet) suddenly. I didn't see it start, but after a half hour of steady downfall, I happened to be looking up just as it *ended*. It was like watching a blanket or afghan fall to the floor before my eyes. Just catching the top edge and then, quickly, it was done, falling away below me. It probably helped that I was on the second floor. I had never seen a storm end before.

(You gentlemen out there who are reading this may want to close your eyes.) Home alone. No one is here but me. Naked. Feeling free. I always get out of my monkey suit when I get home, and either slip on sweats or jeans. Tonight, all of my housemates are gone, so I just didn't put on anything. Very liberating. I am enjoying this, sitting here typing like this. Walking around. Grab a soda from the garage. In college, I had my apartment to myself at times (it was the social gathering place) and I would sit in a patch of sun in the living room next to the big picture window and play my guitar in the nude. It was a second floor apartment. Very tranquil.

Entry... 3/19/99 10:47am

Went out last night to Saratoga, and played more then the usual number of games of air hockey. Had a really great competition going, in fact, it was so intense I was sweating. We ended to series with a score of 8-7.

Had the whole house to myself last night. It was so quiet. Of course, I always have the bed to myself, so there's nothing new there. I pretty much went right to sleep when I got home, and got up early this morning to pick up a friend who needed a ride at a car dealership.

It's not even 11 in the morning yet, and I am wondering what I am going to do for lunch. Forgot my book again on my bedside table, so reading is out.

Entry... 3/19/99 2:33pm

Took a walk at lunch today to clear my head. Aside from the ongoing tragedy of my life, it has been a real swamp here at work and I am up to my ass in alligators, and they are all hungry. I stood near the trees in the Pine Bush, which borders my office building, and let the wind blow through my hair. I closed my eyes and listened to it whistle through the trees. I took deep breaths. Perhaps a good stiff drink and a foot rub is all people really need.

Entry... 3/20/99 2:53pm

Bled today. Nothing new about that. I had to work today, and that usually involves installing equipment, moving things around, running wires, etc. Someone always seem to bleed. Today, it was my turn. My left hand bought it on a rack.

After work, I went to brunch with my brother and his girlfriend over at a local diner, and then I came home. I tried to make some phone calls, but everyone must be outside enjoying the weather. I took their dog out into the yard to do its business.

Spent last night inside. I had all these potential things to do, all these plans, and I just didn't feel like doing any of them. I hung out here, and took a nap for a few hours, and then watched some really bad movies with my brother. Tonight, I am going out, though, and tomorrow I have a gig in the afternoon and a concert at night. I guess I needed the downtime.

Ok, somebody turned me in. They had to have. I got turned in for hosting those motivational posters on my site. I got a cease and desist order from the CEO of the company that claims to have designed and made these posters. The threat of legal action, though veiled, was quite apparent. They offered that I could post new versions of their images on my site, ones that were doctored to show their web site address in huge letters over the image. In my opinion, these are greedy capitalistic people, and not worthy of further attention. Though funny, I will not be a party to being a source of advertising for their company. Rather than change my images out with their doctored ones, I am removing them from my site, and replacing them with the letter the guy sent to me for you to read. I am leaving the one poster that I designed myself, as it falls under the category of being satirical and a lampoon, and let them try to come at me for theft of concept. See it all here.

We are going to the park now, to romp in the sunshine and exercise the dog. Catch you later.

Entry... 3/21/99 9:09pm

My voice is a full octave lower than normal today, probably due to some borderline cold, but I feel fine otherwise. I am feeling a bit like James Earl Jones. I am entertaining myself by saying normal things in this deep voice like "Ritz Cracker," "Pizza Pie," and "Jelly beans."

I am thinking my voice is like this from all the rum I had last night. Who invented open bar? Bless their little black heart. I had another band practice/gig today that went well. Next weekend we have a big show to do on Saturday. Nothing beats free food at gigs, either!

I went to see the SUNY Albany Community Orchestra play tonight. They did the overture to Candide that was terrific. They had a guitar player featured in two pieces, but he was pretty full of himself and the music wasn't accessible, so that didn't play as well as the other special acts. The five piece woodwind group did a beautiful job.

I heard the news that a friend of mine was accepted into a master's program at Boston University. Woo hoo! She has got to be excited. She is going to be leaving here in June. Congratulations!

Been listening to the Barenaked Ladies CD Stunt all day. This line floated up to me from the song "Some Fantastic", so I thought I would quote it here:
"Bye-bye self-respect
I haven't had much of it since you left
I missed out on the best of you"

Entry... 3/21/99 9:45pm

Waiting for dinner (pizza) to show up, and I penned a poem. Thought I would share it with you. Click here for Love 9

Entry... 3/21/99 11:06pm

Forgot to mention something that happened last night. You may have read how I got that cease and desist order about my web site, right? Well, when I was standing at the bar last night, I saw the people who own Global 2000, the company that hosts my web site here, so I went over and talked to them for awhile. We talked a bit about their company, my work, bands, music, and small talk, and about their recent car accident (no one was hurt too badly). I brought up the fact that I had been ordered to remove this stuff from my site. Well, they were surprised by the whole thing, but generally agreed with my feelings. If the guy had let me put a link on my page to his site, that would have been better than the doctored images. Well, anyway, the punchline is that when they asked me what the images looked like (they had never seen them), I said "Well, I guess you can't see them on my site anymore!" That was pretty funny.

Time to slide this tired body into my bed. I going to call it an early night. Oh, my brother updated his web page tonight. A new look - check it out here. Ciao!

Entry... 3/22/99 5:17pm

Fighting something off today. Could be a cold. I went home for lunch today, and sat in the living room and had warmed up pizza, and watched some music videos.

Desk pop can count goes up by another two: 73

Found George Carlin's website. It's pretty nice. He had a quote on his front page I liked.

I'm going to go home, I think and crawl into bed. Try to sleep this off. Maybe I'll rent a video so that I will have something mindless to look at at 2 in the morning. Funny, how small this planet is, people can be so far apart. Or standing on seemingly different planets.

Entry... 3/23/99 4:55pm

Ah, I am feeling way better today. Well, physically anyway. I have a random cough, and a low fever that I can feel mostly on the back of my neck. I think I beat this thing. I had a working lunch at Sutter's today, and I behaved by not having any beer. I drank so much water that the waiter gave up and brought me my own pitcher. It helped. I am sensing another round of massive changes here at work; new employees, new corporate direction, moves... All of which affect me. Is it time to do a "show me the money?!"

I went to bed early last night, wrapped a white blanket from the living room around my shoulders for extra warmth. I had some potato chips (starve a cold, they say, but I had to have something) and read a few pages in the last Tom Robbins book that I have left to read - "Half Asleep in Frog's Pajamas". I woke up at 6am, after having the craziest dream of being back in high school. In the dream I was a senior, and I had long hair like I do now, but even longer. Images of school hallways and teachers float up to me now as I remember it. It felt like a movie. My best friend in the dream was my current boss. My girlfriend in the dream was this girl I had seen on MTV last night who wanted to be made into a human burrito filling with a guy. I also had a tail. There was this scene where I was competeing in a tuff man competition that was held in a swimming pool. Before I went to compete, my best friend and I discovered that my tail was held on with glue, so we took it off. I won a few contests, but lost one when I was showing off for this beautiful girl in a bikini (that I know in real life) who was sitting on the side of the pool smiling at me. Even though I had a girlfriend in the dream, I went and talked to this girl and we hugged and kissed a little. I remember having two wet spots right on the front of my shirt afterwards.

Entry... 3/24/99 10:31am

More dreams... I woke up at 6am today, after going to bed early for the third night in a row. My brother demanded to know who I was, and what have I done with his brother. This one was so vivid that I still remember it completely. I remember more of the dreams, but it is all stuff that happened before what I describe here, and of no consequence.

I saw it happen. He punched her on the shoulder, and then pushed her aside. From the look on her face, you could tell from the start that this was going to get ugly. I was sitting on a bar stool at a high table, facing the bar, when I saw it go down. The girl I was with had her eyes closed, her head resting on my shoulder. She was the best friend of a couple that I go out with every now and then, and we had just met that night, and hit it off rather well. We had all had a few drinks inside us, and perhaps everyone else had had a few too many. It was one of those odd downtown bars whose clientele ranges from die hard regulars who practically live there, to tourists passing by and stopping in for a little dancing, and libation. I tapped her on the shoulder, and she made a small sound and squeezed my thigh and kissed my neck, so I said to her softly "Wake up, something is going down." Then I turned towards my friends and gave them the heads up. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her push the man back and strike him in the face. From their actions, and words, I knew that they were husband and wife. Loaded up on their favorite drink, it was fight time. He gave her some verbal abuse at that point, but you could tell that she was not going to, or able to, let it lie this time. Obviously, this was a common fight for them, just the tip of the iceberg, and depending on the time of day or the position of the moon, either one would have walked away at that point, and probably had countless times before. Through my haze, something felt very wrong. I could feel that much. Other regulars who knew them tried to intervene. The yelling got louder. The hitting got more intense. Bit by bit, other bar patrons took notice of the battle, and cautiously gathered up their belongings and loved ones. "Let's think about taking off, guys," I said. But for some odd reason, my boots were in the back room. I had taken them off to dance, and left them there. The screaming escalated. Lots of soothing voices. I had just told my friend to get the girls out the front with the other departing customers, and that I would meet them out front, when the women made for the exit, screaming that she was going home to get the gun, and return to finish her husband off. She seemed craxy enough to do it. Suddenly, the pitch of the room changed. As she went for the exit, so did everyone else. Sort of like one of those lottery commercials. I was suddenly alone, in my socks. Even the bartender had bolted over the bar and gone out with his customers. I went to the back room, and picked up my boots, and as I turned around to leave the husband was coming out of a phone booth. He semi staggered towards me, and stopped and asked me what his wife had said when she left. I told him that she said that she was going to get a gun and come back. He sort of let loose a deep laugh, and then his face hardened. He didn't say anything more to me, but followed the wall to the back door, where he let himself out. I left the bar in a hurry, not willing to be the only one left in the place. I walked out into sunshine, and crowded streets. People milling about, seemingly all headed in the same direction. A parade? Felt more like the crowd you get caught up in when you leave a concert. Everyone is in that almost hurry to get their their cars, small knots of people trying to stay together, with an almost similar destination. Walking up on curbs, in the street, cutting around parked cars and light posts. My friends found me, in my socks, and we joined the crowd in the sunlight, holding hands and moving along.

Tonight I am going up north to Glens Falls to see the Red Wings play. I won some tickets to the game at Little Caesars a month ago.

Entry... 3/24/99 11:10am

My pregnant friends sent me the first picture of their baby. Everything looks fine and dandy from here! (They told me to be nice, since the little tyke can't defend itself yet)

Wednesday is Hump Day! Brought to you by the letter D. Today's word is Defenestration.

Entry... 3/25/99 12:33am

Just before I left work today, I got a desperate call from a friend of mine. He was stranded at work with a dead battery. Wonderboy to the rescue! I drove up to where he was and tested his battery and found that it was pretty useless. The heap of dried sulphuric acid on top of the battery was a clue. I gave him a jump and told him to "get thyself to a Pep Boys." It's new battery time for buddy. Drove up to Glens Falls, saw something that looked like a hockey game, had a greasy dinner, and then drove back. Played with the dog a little, and now it's time to do the trash. See you tomorrow.

Entry... 3/25/99 10:55am

If I ever meet some little fuck who has written, or even thought about writing a computer virus of any kind, I vow right here, right now that I will do my best to do them serious bodily harm. I am not kidding. My life is currently a hell on Earth because of them.

Everybody stop, hey, what's that sound? We're at war with Yugoslavia. Nice, huh? Geez.

Entry... 3/25/99 5:37pm

Wowie...I guess today is almost over. And not a minute too soon. What a bear it has been here at work. Almost had to deal with a weepy user this morning. She lost some data that she stayed at work last night to work on. There was nothing I could do to help. It's not a fun situation, and somehow it always becomes my fault that they didn't save their stuff better. What a great way to start the day.

Went to the airport this afternoon, and picked up my housemate. He was down in Florida for a week or so. While I was standing in the baggage claim, I saw a guy that I race with over the summer. We talked a bit about the winter, everyone's general health, and about the upcoming racing season. We are hoping to have some fun and get out there for a few races. He and I are both pessimistic about the water levels in the reservoir this year. It may not be a very long season.

Here's an online comic strip for us geeks. Check it out at: www.UserFriendly.org.

Entry... 3/26/99 12:14pm

I am sitting at my desk, with my feet up, taking a minute in between emergency and planned projects. It's dress down day, and I am wearing jeans and a new golf shirt that my housemate brought back for me as a present. It is dark blue and has the word 'Florida' on the pocket. I like it.

Tonight I think that I am going to go down to Binghampton to see the band Yukon Cornelius. (Normally, I would have a link to their website here, but since I am still making it, it's not done yet.) They are also playing in Albany tomorrow night, but I have like 3 other things going on tomorrow night and I may not get down to see them. Some friends of mine are getting married, and there are many bands playing out that I am doing web sites for, so I need to go see them. I also have a big party/gig myself tomorrow afternoon.

If you look up the word loser in the dictionary today, you will see my picture there in black and white. I lost big time in air hockey last night. I think the final score was 8-2. I was playing really well, too. All the games were really close. I suppose I have just met my match. I'll have to improve upon this, I think, and maybe find a new word to define.

Speaking of dictionaries, today's word is Licentious. Something everyone should attempt to achieve! The world would definitly be more fun.

Something interesting: My new horoscope at Real Astrology begs me to ask myself the question "What do I wnat to be when I grow up?" Just today, I was talking to a coworker who wants to get something new going for herself, and invited me to join her in a business venture. Wacky! I also check out my horoscope here, Astronet.

Entry... 3/26/99 4:45pm

Picked up a couple Metrolands at lunch today, and read a great piece by Jo Page about finding peace in our lives and our search for rest. I wanted to quote a couple of paragraphs from her article here:

"But kicking back, which seeks escape either in the form of somnolence or fantasy, isn't the same thing at all as real rest.
Real rest, the kind we wish for the souls of the departed, is different. Real rest is not a crowded, dream-filled night of broken sleep or fantasy, even if that's how, in our haste and denial, we define it.
Real reast is a real letting go of anxiety and fear, a real letting go at the ways we grasp at our relationships and struggle with our tasks. It seems to me a pity - a missed opportunity - to think that only in death do we experience the rest that lets us let go. And, of course, by then, we don't have any option not to let go.
Sogyal Rinpoche, in The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, talks about the need to prepare for death by truly living our lives. I take that to mean that incorporating real rest into the living of our daily lives is one way to prepare for the final ending of them.
"There would be no chance at all of getting to know death if it happened only once," he slyly observes. "But fortunately, life is nothing but a continuing dance of birth and death, a dance of change...We are terrified of letting go, terrified, in fact, of living at all, since learning to live is learning to let go."
What's hardest to acknowledge in all this is that letting go isn't the same as getting lost in the thing that you love, either, whether it is a child or a lover, an art form or our own bodies. Love clings to our beings like flesh to our bones. "Crumbling's not an instant's act" as eerie old Emily Dickinson observed."

Some food for thought as the weekend arrives. I'm checking out. See you in a few days, folks.

Entry... 3/28/99 2:25pm

Friday night I went to Binghampton to see the band Yukon Cornelius play. I met the band at their house so that we could all carpool down to the gig together. After the standard driving around and trying to meet people (and fetching the drummer with an iffy car) we got on the road only 45 minutes late. Had a great time. Lots of really drunk people. Lots of really stoned people. The club is in this huge buidling that used to be an apartment complex. It goes on forever. We grabbed a flashlight and went exploring through all these empty rooms and ripped out kitchens. It was wild. I spent my time meeting people and signing them up on the mailing list.

I talked to my daughter for almost an hour today. She just earned her yellow belt in karate (woo hoo!) this week. She also reported that she is growing out her nails. This girl is going to be a walking weapon! She threatened that I better give her all the piggyback rides she wants this summer or she will inflict damage upon me. My own kid. Nice, huh?

My band played yesterday afternoon for a benefit in Gloversville, and we were aksed to stay and play for the nightly dancing that evening, as the original band cancelled on the club. It made for a very long day, but we did it. I crashed at the band manager's house last night. We got up this morning and had a big country breakfast. You would be surprised at how many songs people can two step to.

Sunday's are toughest. The darkness that hangs out at the edge of our lives seems to be a little closer. That's where the realities live, both the scary and the wonderful. During the week, there are always things to do and events to fill the hours. Sunday nights just bring the memories. To combat them today, I did some spring cleaning, and have a couple movies to watch. On the marquee: "Pleasantville" and "The Opposite of Sex"

Entry... 3/29/99 12:09am

Ended up having company over for dinner tonight. My ex-landlord and one of his new tenants came by for food and drink. We enjoyed baked ziti, salad, bread and a carrot cake. After the company left, we watched "Pleasantville." It was pretty good, but the ending was just way to contrived and sudden. I was hoping for a lot more character development from the female lead to justify her actions at the end of the film, but all of the other characters were very well done. I did a little research on the Internet Movie Database to find out who played the lead male role, and learned that they are making a movie version of John Irving's "The Cider House Rules." This was one of my favortie books when I was in high school. If you haven't read any Irving, I recommend this one. I am not sure how it will play as a movie, but it was nice to be reminded of it.

Entry... 3/29/99 2:00am

On occasion, I visit an online cam called Anacam. A performance artist named Ana Voog has cameras running in her apartment all the time. You never know what you might see. She puts interesting links on her page every now and then (she's the one who gave me those great links about feminine suppression in Afghanistan), and today had this link on her site for an artist who recently did a study of Women from birth to 100 years of age. Click here to visit Century.

I'm watching "The Opposite of Sex" and loving it so far. I have on my comfy sweats and a bag of doritos and a glass of water, and I just had to put the movie on pause and share this line that Lisa Kudrow's character just said that cracked me up. She said "You're like a lobster in a pot who is just thrilled that the water's getting toasty."

Entry... 3/31/99 4:00pm

I just got inside from a walk around the park where I work. It is incredible outside. I rolled up my sleeves, and undid my tie, and prayed to the benevolent Sun God to bake this pasty flesh brown again. Took a friend and a chocolate bar with me and wandered aimlessly about the campus. Oh, man, I love this. Pity that it has to rain again so soon, but I suppose that will simply serve to turn everything green.

So, we have come to the last day in March. It's been a long month. So much has happened. We had our second, and final, blue moon of the month last night (still pretty full for those of you who didn't get out to see it).

My brother went to Toronto over the weekend, and he brought me some genuine Canadian donuts (or beignes) from Tim Horton's! They came in this really cool box that I am going to save.

Check out the Star Wars website for all sorts of great information about the upcoming movie. Lots of real video clips and trailers, and behind the scenes stuff!

Tonight I have some shopping to do for the Easter dinner that I am cooking. I also have a new piece of software called "Band in a Box" to try out. It looks really fun. I've been wanting to get a lot of my recent songs on tape.

Entry... 3/31/99 9:44pm

I was hanging out pretty close to the end of the day at work today, when a buddy of mine showed up to see if I wanted to go out and have a few beers. So, we grabbed a couple of other coworkers, and went out and sat on the deck of a local bar, and had wings and toasted the beginning of many outdoor happy hours. It was very nice, having a few laughs, sharing the latest gossip, while sitting there under the full moon.

Just got back from the store. It was predictably empty. Bought most of the supplies for Sunday dinner. Just your standard ham, and stuff for a cherry cheesecake. My Dad plans to make his cole slaw. Should be interesting.

Oh, I forgot to mention this yesterday: About 2 weeks ago I misplaced my leather gloves. I got them for christmas, and I really liked them. Well, I searched everywhere, and had pretty much put them out of my mind. I went to volleyball, which is held at a local elementary school. I got there really early, so I changed and then wandered around the school. I saw a piano in the hallway near the gym, so I went over to goof around with it, and there, on top of the piano, were my gloves. I was very happy to find them. I also figured out "All the lonely people" by the Beatles on the piano that night.

I installed that recording software tonight. Wow. It's pretty intense. I am going to learn a lot with this one. Well, that's for later. Time to do the trash and eat some dinner.