February 1999

Entry... 2/1/99 10:55am

Welcome to the month with no full moon. That's right - if you remember your reading, we had a full moon last night (and it will still be pretty bright out tonight) on January 31st. February, at 28 days is just too short to see another full moon - so March will enjoy two of them, as January did.

Disgust. Pretty much the word of the day after watching hours of pregame and post game show yesterday (with a little tiny bit of actual interesting football mixed into the middle). We got robbed again. Another one sided game. More force fed platitudes. Another rich billionairre mogul (this year, named Murdoch). Hey, America. Wake up. It's your game. Take it back. Thank God there was snack food, pizza, and beer nearby.

Entry... 2/2/99 4:25am

I saw the movie "Meet Joe Black" last night. Nobody told me that the damn thing was 3 hours long! Well, in between nodding off, and multiple scenes with the actor staring off into well lit skies, one character made an attempt to define love. He said it was when someone knew your deepest, darkest secrets - everything about you - and loved you in spite of that.

I tend to believe that.

I am off today for New Hampshire. Miss me while I'm gone? I plan to be back on Thursday, for sure. It's going to be a busy week.

Entry... 2/2/99 12:45pm

Geeeeeez.... what a freaking busy morning here at the office. I have so many things to do, it's almost hard to know where to start. I do know that I have to run home, cause I forgot to leave the rent check. We have a great landlord. Sometimes he shows up on the 5th to collect the rent, but I always want to make sure that the check is there for him, in case he is passing by. So I will go home and figure out the bill for lunch. I am hoping there are leftovers. Of something.

If you haven't heard by now, there was no shadow beneath our little Groundhog this morning. The good news is that there will be an early spring. Ah, hope springs eternal. On a more offbeat note, how come we don't eat groundhog on Groundhog's Day? Pass the mustard!

General observation: Well, in retrospect, at least I can say that I'm not on fire. So, that's good.

"I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all." - Malachi Constant, "Sirens of Titan", Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Entry... 2/2/99 5:39pm

I was listening to Tracy Chapman's CD "New Beginning" and this song reached out and grabbed my heart again, as it always does. I thought I would share the lyrics with you here. This is a great disc. I like playing this song on my guitar every once in awhile.

Entry... 2/4/99 11:57am

Isn't being home nice? There's nothing in the world quite like your own shower. Ever notice that?

I saw the ocean. I needed that. Something about being near the water, smelling the salted air, just refreshes you. The huge waves rolling in, crashing over rocks. Surfers braving the cold. Gulls squawking. Yesterday was a beautiful day, actually, about 60 degrees. I won't say that I had any epiphanies, but the experience was settling, as it always is when I am around water. It was so clear that I could see the Shoal Islands, where europeans would actually sail and fish. They would come that close to America, but never actually come ashore. They would get all the cod they could and salt it, and head East again, back home. The Indians were a lot meaner then than now, I suppose. And now, there are moratoriums on fishing in that area. There's not much left. The cod are drying up, and businessmen can't compete anymore with the Japanese fishermen. Tragic. I saw more boats up on land then in the water.

Oh... interesting thing. During my long car ride out there and back, I was pretty much offered the chance to become a developer and work on this big project we have going on. It would be a complete career change for me (but touches on how I began my career) and it has another wrinkle - I would have to move to Portsmouth. An interesting and honorable (and flattering) offer. So, that's in the back of my head, but I don't know. I'll play it by ear and see what time brings. East isn't the direction I really want to go...

Other exciting company news - I just learned that we are adding 17 employees in the next 3 months. I have a lot of work to do to add capacity to the network, buy PC's, configure them, and get phones ordered. Wheee. Don't blink, life will roll over you.

Today's rant: I was on the Mass Pike and I tried to get some money out of my checking account at an ATM there, and of course with my feeble memory, I had forgetton the new PIN that I was assigned. (Background: My bank got bought, and they forced everyones PIN to a new number.) So I attempted to recall it, and after 3 tries the machine gave me back my card and said "Sorry." Ok. Great. So later, I got my PIN from where I had secreted it, and tried at another machine. *Still locked out!* Oh great, here I am, on the road, nowhere near a branch of this bank and I cannot get to my money now. Thanks a lot. 3 strikes, and you are out, I suppose. I am wondering what would have happened if I had an emergency? I think it should lock you temporarily, sure, but then give you another shot after a time out. At least give you an 800 number to call and whine to. So, anyway, I called and got my PIN reset to my old one. Maybe I can handle technology. Maybe there's hope for me.
Nah... I don't think so.

Entry... 2/7/99 7:23pm

Hey... been a busy couple of days. I don't know why I feel I have to write something to justify my not writing, but I do. Guilty feelings, perhaps? I'll try to get over them quickly. So, how about a quick recap? Things have been extra busy at work the last couple of days, and to help deal with that I went out both Thursday and Friday right after work and put the "happy" in "happy hour". I paid for it on Saturday morning. I am the Big Fat Head! You will speak in low voices! I have decreed it!

My band practice was cancelled (again) on Saturday because someone went and broke some other part of their body. I don't think this string of bad luck will ever end. You know, most bands have this sort of drama *after* they are playing out and are successful (re: Ray Vaughn, Holly, The Big Bopper, Valens, etc). So what's up with this crap *before* we have a bunch of gigs lined up?

So, I drove up to Glens Falls on Saturday and watched the Red Wings get publically embarrassed. Kind of a neat thing that I didn't know about: In the basement of the Civic Center there is a place called Heritage Hall, and they serve catered dinners there before the game. And after most games there is a question and answer period with the players down there. So I ate there, and saw the fights (very little hockey going on), and then stopped by for the after game party. It was nice. An aside to that "no hockey" comment - the Red Wings took 43 shots on goal and only scored one point. Rochester's Goalie was _good_.

After that was over, I headed down to Saratoga to see a buddy of mine play out at Aiko's. But the gig was cancelled. I am glad I didn't drive all the way up there for that. So I just came home early. My parents came home today, so I was able to get up to go to the airport. I spent the rest of the afternoon installing Windows 98 and configuring dial up networking. My buddy dropped off his computer for me to roll over the billing system I wrote for him, so I did that and then......

As you may have noticed (all of you out there with Netscape 3+ or IE 4+) all the graphics on the left hand side of the page now change color as you roll your mouse over them. Yes sir, I'm just continually making improvements around here. I also realized that this page is freaking huge.

Found this graphic on the net... it's like one of those "Headlines" that Jay Leno likes to have on his Monday night show. Click here to see it.

Anyone else see the Barenaked Ladies on Saturday Night Live last night?

Entry... 2/8/99 4:37am

Don't you hate putting clothes in the dryer, and then remembering that you did later - but at 4 in the morning? I'll bet that happens to you all the time. I am thinking about just leaving them for tomorrow, but then I realize that one of my housemates may want to use the dryer, and I shouldn't leave the stuff there. After I thought that, I think that I do a lot of things so that junk won't be left out, and possibly inconvience someone else. So, then, the question should be asked - should we live alone purely so that, should we so desire, we can leave something to do tomorrow? In effect, singleness signifies laziness? Or perhaps it is as simple as a basic reluctance to fold t-shirts at 5 in the freaking morning.

"Everytime she looks at me, my heart stops. Thank God she knows how to start it again." - heard in a movie.

"Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out brief candle.
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more; it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing." - W. Shakespeare

My God, we are a busy little planet, spinning in our orbit around a star we will never see.

Entry... 2/10/99 12:30am

Happy anniversary to me, happy anniversary to me. Happy anniversary, dear Do---on. Happy anniversary to me. Just 4 short years ago I fucked up and got tossed out of house and home. I'm still alive, still alone, and I hope you are all having a fucking party with all that money I've given you. No, wait. Strike that. Forget "give." Let's just go with "taken from me." Eat, drink, be merry. Live it up, and for God's sake, don't choke on anything.

I found this web site just typed into my browser window one day. Pretty funny. The Toilet Paper

Get your daily rant here: Suck.com

And let me just say this about the upcoming defeat of both standing articles of impeachment in our Senate. Thank God it's over!

Entry... 2/11/99 12:20pm

Well, now I like kissing as much as the next guy, but this is gotta be the stupidest thing I have ever seen. Send an electronic kiss to your love here, and try not to lose your lunch.

Desk pop can count: 59

There are still like 30 Senators waiting to have their little moment of history today, so they may not get to the articles of impeachment vote until later tonight, or tomorrow morning. So, as expected, a slight delay, but no major changes. The push for censure is dying, too. Appears that may just be a "statement", signed by select senators, and not even by the full body. It's really pretty incredible when you reflect that Ronald Reagan committed treason (would that be what you call selling guns to your enemy?) and never got the slightest bit of investigation. This trial, from beginning to end, was all about sex.

Last night, I stopped by my parents house after band practice to drop off a sailboat (don't ask), and my Mom made me hot chocolate and chocolate cake. I played a little with the ferret, while the dog licked the cabinet doors.

Like hamsters?

Entry... 2/11/99 2:30pm

I've been ICQing today with my friend, Doug. He is in Russia, specifically Omsk. He is heading off to Minsk and then Kiev. He sent me a picture of himself in Red Square. Technology is wonderful, eh? Instant pictures from the other side of the globe. It's 12 hours ahead there, so he is off to bed, but he sends his greetings from sunny Siberia.

Entry... 2/12/99 2:48pm

It's Over! Clinton has been aquitted on both articles of impeachment, and it's about damn time. The vote came down as 45-55 on Article One, Perjury, and 50-50 on Article Two, Obstruction of Justice. Now, nobody out there doubts that the guy didn't screw up, and big. But, for the Lord's sake, this was just to ridiculous. Nuff said? Probably.

The new laugh of the week is the good Reverend Jerry Falwell. He claims that the "blue" teletubbie is gay - because he carries a purse, is the color of the gay pride movement, and wears an upside down triangle on his head (supposedly an early symbol of homosexual orientation). This man is now officially, crackers.

This afternoon, I stopped by a friend's cubicle here at work to borrow a book, and her coworker had a big bowl of those little hearts that have sayings on them on her desk. So, I picked one out and ate it (saying on the heart: "I'm sure"). Suddenly, I started coughing - and I realized I was choking on the damn thing. How typical and appropriate is that?

Driving back to my office from lunch today, I was reminded of a dream I had maybe a week ago. I dreamt that I was either married or in a long term relationship with someone who was not just my partner, but also my best friend. In the dream, she and I had made not just one baby - but two. A little boy and a little girl. I can't remember all of the details of the dream, but I do remember the warmth that poured out of my heart; my body, and how it was so lovingly reciprocated from her, and from the children. The fruit of our love. In the dream, we wore a lot of white, and I remember waving fields of flowers, or wheat. Odd thoughts, these. But for those of you who know the real me, they aren't so strange.

Entry... 2/15/99 12:37pm

I left my watch on the sink this morning. I usually don't forget it, but this morning, for some odd reason, I put it on before I went into the bathroom for my daily shower. I took it off before I got wet, and put it on the sink, right next to my glasses. And I suppose that because it wasn't my routine, I left it there when I left. So now I keep referring to my wrist, and wondering why it won't cough up the current time.

Got the new tires on the car this weekend. I did just the fronts, but I want to do the back tires this weekend. I'll have to get to Walmart and pick them up. I jacked the car up right in the driveway, and propped it on jack stands while I got the tires mounted and balanced. I was really shocked by the old tires. My front left had quite the hole in the bottom of it (where exactly, *is* the "bottom" of a tire? It's round!). This replacement happened in the nick of time, I think.

So, how did all you out there fare this past weekend? I actually had a great Valentine's Day. Typically, I dread this fabricated and exclusionary holiday. It was probably the best one I ever had. I spent it with my family and with my best friend, and you can't beat that.

I think it's time to get some lunch. I'm feeling too gooshy and nice. Before I go, some free form verse, inspired by an email I wrote.

I had
I hope
I gave
I have
I did
I also
I am
I just
I love
I will

Entry... 2/15/99 2:19pm

"But I'm a big scary monster, department" Why is it kids can see through you so easily? I went to lunch today with my brother and a guy that we went to high school with today. This guy has a the cutest little 4 year old daughter, and almost right away she was talking to me, playing with my fingers, doing magna-doodle and stealing my french fries. When we walked out of the restaurant (wait, it was Burger King... can you call that a restaurant?) she held my hand, and I helped her into her car seat. So much for having her as a snack.

I had french fries for lunch, and I like to have mayo on them instead of ketchup. So I asked the guy for some mayo packets. Well, they don't have any of those at Burger King, but he went back and grabbed an 8oz water cup and just about _filled_ it with mayonaisse. How much did he think I needed anyway? It was pretty funny. Oh.. wait. Is this one of those funny stories that's only funny if you are there? I guess you had to be there.

I performed a full frontal lobotomy on that laptop that was giving me so much trouble. That'll teach it. Can you say Format C:?

I am planning on seeing "The Wizard of Oz" tonight at a local theater. I was passing by a coworkers desk, and she had rented a copy of "There's Something about Mary" and offered it to me to watch tonight before she has to return it. So, it looks like it's movie night for Don! I'm looking forward to seeing them.

Entry... 2/17/99 12:50pm

I saw "There's Something About Mary" on Monday night, and I was highly entertained! I had to laugh out loud at so many scenes. Of course, I am probably the last person on the planet to see films most of the time, so this is nothing new for you. The "reviving the dog" scene was the best. Frank and beans! Frank and beans!

Coming out of the office yesterday, with my dry cleaning slung over my shoulder, I noticed a car up on a jack. Always eager to lend a hand, I walked over, and found a coworker struggling to get her spare tire out of her trunk. The bolt system that holds the thing down was all rusted, and it was pretty much impossible to get loose. She had called Triple A for help, and I tried to loosen the thing more with tools I had, to no avail. So the Triple A guy shows up, and he can't do anyting for her. All he can do, he says, is tow her to a garage, or fix the flat. We could've fixed it ourselves if we could get it out. He said they carry no tools in the truck. I sort of laughed, because I just changed my tires, and I needed tools just to get them off the car! I don't see how he could be prepared to do much for anyone. So, we sent him away, and I went and got my bolt cutters. Snip Snip, and the tire was free. I put it on the car, and tightened up the lug nuts, and sent her on her way.

Mental note to self: get superhero suit out of the cleaners. The continuing Adventures of Wonderboy!

So I got home and ordered chinese food with the housemates, and I fixed a stubborn network card in a pc that my brother is rebuilding for a friend (there seems to always something to do.) I think that I was frustrated that I got the card to work but I couldn't explain exactly why it worked. That's the trouble with educated guesses. I would rather see a physical problem, and fix it in a logical way, then just wiggle and pray.

Entry... 2/18/99 11:32am

Seems that every day that I come into work lately someones PC is dead in the water and someone else wants a new laptop. A local woman won the lottery last night. 17 million dollars. I had stopped in and bought a ticket at 10:00pm on my home after band practice, but no joy for me. A coworker said that he would keep working if he won, rather than sit at home, cause he couldn't stand the boredom. I was like "Are you kidding? There are libraries to read, the world to travel, boats to be sailed, mountains to climb!" Sit at home? Bah!

A song for today. Great band called Eve6 wrote this one. Click here for Superhero Girl.

Entry... 2/21/99 9:33pm

Couldn't sleep at all last night. Ever watch the digital numbers on the clock count every minute? It's no fun.

Oh Catharine

Entry... 2/22/99 11:15am

I cut myself shaving this morning. Pretty badly. I took a hunk of skin right off my adams apple, and I stood there staring into the mirror with blood running down my neck and onto my chest, thinking "This is just perfect." I have a band aid there now. Looks really pretty. Welcome to this mortal coil.

Made a milestone on Friday, but I didn't feel like updating the log: Desk pop can count: 60!

Another song for today. Click here to read the words to Third Eye Blind's "The Background"

Entry... 2/22/99 4:37pm

There was an incredible solar eclipse in Australia today. I put a story about it and a picture here. I find myself looking to the skies when I don't know what the hell to do. Today seems an appropriate day for star gazing. Bummer that it's cloudy.

Entry... 2/22/99 11:59pm

Spent the evening under a blanket and finished Tom Robbin's "Still Life with Woodpecker." In it, he asks "How do you make love stay?" Sadly, I do know how. But, paradoxiacally, love must be free so that it may be held.

I've been using a scrap of paper as a bookmark. This was scribbled on it.

Entry... 2/23/99 4:31pm

My horoscope today said that my "awareness and intuition are strong this morning"... And I think that it was right. I was pulling off the street that links my street to a fairly busy road, a turn I make every day. I was sitting at the red light when the light turned green. I looked both ways, and saw that the way was clear. For some reason, I did not pull out to make my turn. At least a full 4 seconds went by, and that's a long time when you are facing a green light. Had there been anyone behind me, they would have honked. Suddenly, a white Taurus wagon appeared in the intersection, racing through the light. He narrowly missed a car coming from the opposite direction. If I had pulled out, he would have nailed me but good. Sure, I have a wagon that weighs 2 tons, but he was also in a large car and moving. I have no idea what hand stayed my forward progress. I could have just been lost in thought. This is partially true...I've been distracted all day.

Just realized that I didn't eat again today. Dang it.

Entry... 2/24/99 3:06pm

My daily horoscope today said this about me: " A fine stellar trend for your personal hopes prevails today. A conference with a boss may give you new and happy expectations. Your money situation is easily handled, and you're happy with your bank account. Don't be demanding in love; give patient consideration a chance to work. Your financial outlook for today is weak."

Now, I agree that hopefulness and patience are my new mantra, and I made myself heard at work in terms of planning and idea execution - but there is no way I am financially content. Not by a long shot. A peek at that bank book would tell anyone that. I get a kick out of the statement at the end, though. Look what it says. "Financial situation is *weak*" Ha ha, got me!

I am currently blasting through Mark Vonnegut's Eden Express. Though I know he doesn't like the stigma of being known as "Kurt Vonnegut, Jr's son," I feel I have to make mention of it here. There is a passage in his book that I read at lunchtime that struck me. I saw a lot of me in it, and a lot of people who are close to me in it. I thought that I would share the passage here.

Just got the word that my band now has its first big paid gig booked (as well as some parties and benefits for name recognition). A Thursday in March, out in Amsterdam. Woo hoo! Here we go, and I am nervous already.

Desk pop can count: 62