June 1999

Entry... 6/2/99 2:25am

It's past 2 in the morning, and I am finally taking a little bit of a breather. I have been drinking glass after glass of water, just hydrating myself. It's certainly been a perfect string of days. I spent Saturday and Sunday nights up at the boat club. My Mom came up and we had dinner together on Saturday. Pretty much my whole dinner kept getting interrupted by people coming over to say hello, find out if I had a boat, what I was doing, yadda yadda yadda. I didn't make up any "I was in prison" stories this time, but I was getting tempted. Of course, this is still a strong possibility yet. The fun will be next year when I get to tell them the truth, and no one will believe it. I read an entire book this weekend - Donald Westlake's "The Ax" It was a perfect easy summer read. I am not crazy about the genre, so I probably won't read more by him, but it fit the bill just right this time around. I think I will try to find some more Kinky Friedman novels next.

Sunday I took my Mother and another couple from the club out on the club's committee boat for the annual passby of other clubs on the lake. We get the rather dubious honor of lighting off a miniature cannon repleat with 10 gauge blanks. It makes a hell of a noise. I have had this job for 5 years now. Ok, I'll admit it's fun to watch people jump, and jump they did. We had the standard catered dinner, followed by a DJ, under a beautiful moonlit night. I did a little dancing, but not as much as previous years, because of my knee. It's still sore even today, but it is getting stronger.

On Monday morning, I took a dip in the lake (that woke me up!), washed my hair, and spent a few hours laying in the sun and finished that book. About noon time, I packed up and headed down to Fort Johnson to play a gig with my band. Well, actually, we were playing right at the "Fort" in Fort Johnson. A great property, with quite a lot of train activity across Route 5, but a nice cool creek, and lots of shade trees. We played short sets on and off all afternoon, and had clams, and burgers, and cake, and lots of soda and beer. It was the day for that. When I got home on Monday night, my Brother and I watched "Dark City," with Keifer Sutherland. We had been under the impression that he had directed the film, but turns out he just acted in it. Or, overacted in it. It was nice to see Richard O'Brien, though. Remember Riff Raff?

Tuesday. Back to work. Another typical day. We're going to be absolutely swamped this month. I'm not even going to get into it. I wonder if I will ever have that performance review? Maybe before I snap, break down, or kill. That would be nice. Bloodshed on the job never looks good at raise time. Besides, what little box would they have to check for that?

Lunch in the mall. I worked over a couple burgers and a large soda and read Metroland while humanity swept around me. I am left with images. A woman talking on her cell phone at a table right next to me, on the phone for the whole time she is there, not making plans, not confirming anything, just gabbing away. Meanwhile, her child sits on the floor of the food court, playing, while she ignores him. A black man saying a prayer over a plate of fish and chips. A pair of oriental coworkers laughing at a white girl in a hat and smock who slipped and fell in a puddle of mop water. A tall, leggy blond girl in a long black skirt, and a red t-shirt advertising Ralph Lauren perfume. On her lunch break, looking more as if she should be shopping at the mall than working in it. A tremendous crash as a mall worker drops a load of trays. Single Moms pushing carriages. Single Moms with grown children. A retired foursome out on a shopping adventure, stopping to whet their sophisticated taste buds with lookalike mexican food. A pair of SUNY Coeds wearing matching all white outfits; tank tops and shorts, wandering in front of every single eatery in the place before selecting pizza. One of them takes her food back to the counter three times. A pair of very pregnant 17 year olds. Well, they sure look 17 to me.

I felt strong enough to play volleyball after work, so I went and got rained on with everyone else. I sat out a few games, since our whole team showed up, and I didn't want to over do anything with my knee just yet. I need the knee, I think, so healing is good. I stopped by a bar, in hopes of catching some friends there, but no luck, so I watched some of the Knicks finals game and had a Newcastle. For some odd reason, I seem to attract drunks. It was "you can be my new best buddy" time, when I inherited this guy who liked Stevie Ray Vaghn. He tossed a roll of quarters in the jukebox, and then engaged me in conversation about the blues while I was tryin to watch the game, and his buddies were glad to be rid of him for a few minutes. When I finished my beer, I bailed. When I got home, my brother and I watched "Amistad." Great images. Anthony Hopkins did a great job. The movie could have been shorter, though.

Entry... 6/2/99 4:12am

Arghhhhhhhh.......Insomnia strikes again. I just watched the movie "Two Girls and a Guy," the movie that Robert Downey, Jr. got to make while he was in prison. Heather Graham is some kind of work release program, that's for sure. I wouldn't necessarily recommend the movie, but the acting was good, and the dialog felt very off the cuff, spontaneous, which was the point.

It's muggy. Ok. I have got to try to sleep. I am not looking forward to watching the clock tick off the minutes until morning. Time to get out of these clothes, get under a sheet, and try. I think I'll run the fan again tonight.

Entry... 6/2/99 12:36pm

I'm about to go out and forage for some food, but I wanted to share this link that I found with you: Infiltration takes you where you aren't supposed to go. I enjoyed the story about the catacombs under Paris.

Band practice tonight. I'll be heading right west after work. When I get home tonight, I have the movie "Primary Colors" with John Travolta waiting for me. I'll stay up late again and watch that. I can't believe that tomorrow is Thursday already. This week is going so quickly.

Entry... 6/3/99 4:52am

Yep. It's me again, up at 5 in the morning. What's up with that? The hardest part about this is that I get incredibly hungry right about now, but I don't want to eat. If I do, I suspect that I will stay in bed far too late in the morning. I grabbed a few cookies a little while ago. So, let's see now. Drove out through the most ridiculous traffic on Crossgates Mall Road, on my way to the Thruway. A UPS Truck just about ran over a couple of girls in a Toyota. All they were trying to do was turn right. Crazy idiots. Lots of state troopers out tonight. Practice went fine; we added 6 songs tonight, mostly 50's tunes. I found myself playing the guitar for most of the night. How did that happen? I'll have to keep an eye out and try to keep that from happening too often. I like the relative safety that comes behind a bass guitar. As long as I'm in the right key with that darn thing, the world is allright.

When I got home, the house was empty, and we seemed to have suddenly cornered the market on box springs and mattresses here at my house. There are 3 mattresses stacked out in the driveway, and a full set in the garage. At first, I thought that our most pleasant neighbors were dumping their trash in my yard. As it turns out, the trash belongs to my ex-landlord. Seems here in Albany, you can call and have this stuff picked up for free, and he would have to pay where he lives, so here it is, in my driveway, awaiting disposal. Watch it rain, and the truck doesn't come, and I'll be stuck with some very wet crap in my driveway. We seem to also have cornered the market in toilet paper. That's all on the kitchen table.

As I type this log entry, I am listening to The Fly's "Got you (where I want you)" I downloaded an MP3 of the song, but it doesn't seem to be complete, dropping the last few seconds. I like the song, especially this line: "I think you're smart, you sweet thing. Tell me your sign, I'm dying here."

I did see "Primary Colors" tonight, and I liked it. It wasn't at all predictable, and good entertainment without being too preachy. Kathy Bates was great, John Travolta and Emma Thompson were solid and believable, but Billy Bob Thornton stole the show as political advisor Richard Jemmons. Maura Tierney (News Radio) had this weird foreground/then suddenly background role, and at one point was written right out of the movie without any cause, but then returned for the final bow.

Here's a web journal I have checked out a little. If you can find them, she has lots of great links to other journals. Check it out here.

Entry... 6/3/99 6:19pm

Started the day off with a 17 inch monitor gushing black smoke, and a terrible smell. I was half expecting some yahoo to make a complaint about the smell and go home on a company authorized free day. Wouldn't that be the best? We in our unit, get to - belay that - are expected to smell, touch, interact, and be exposed to any such dangers that may lurk inside those plastic housings. The rules don't apply to the rest of them. I dragged it back over to the pile of broken dreams, and scribbled "trash" on the plastic, leaving no doubt for the haulers to take it away tonight. More fun came when I brought out the replacement monitor. Everyone who didn't have a 17 inch monitor was there, watching the installation, wondering aloud when they could have their nice big monitor, too. "If I pour coffee in my monitor, will I get a new 17 inch screen?" "I'll be happy to short out my monitor..." Blah blah blah. I hear a slight buzzing sound. It's all politics who gets what in any compnay. Leave the poor tech (me) alone. You think I make the decisions? You people are funny if you do. They come walking up to me all the time. "I have to have this." "I need that." Always, it's now, now, now. Ok...ok...I know. Whine whine whine. I need to vent sometimes. I suppose this is my forum for that, since I have no other.

It didn't end there. Later on, I was on the phone, when my other line rings. I do what I typically do in this situation - I ignored it. That's why we have voice mail, and I am religious about checking it, even when I am away from my desk. I figure I can save myself a walk if I am already out on the floor when another problem pops up. So, I continue talking while my voice mail light comes on. Next thing you know, there's a secretary by my desk with a scrap of paper. Oh, it's important she says. A user is off at a conference, and she is calling from a pay phone, and needs me right away. So I drop my call prematurely, and get on the phone with the user. I'll save you the long drawn out version. The chase of it is, she has been running her demo laptop of the battery all day, went off to lunch, and when she returned to give an important demo (she's at a two day conference - today and tomorrow), the screen was "black." (That's always the extent of any problem I get reported to me. No info on what they were doing. Just black. Or in the case of Windows, Blue.) I asked her if the power had gotten cut off to her booth. She said, no, the external monitor was on, but the laptop was not. I am thinking fried motherboard at this point. So, I say, it's plugged in and there are no power lights at all? She says, the video cable is plugged in to the monitor, and the monitor has power, so why doesn't the computer have power? I ask, is the computer plugged into the same power strip as the monitor, or maybe into a different lead that is out? She says the computer is not plugged in at all. Eureka. We have it. The battery simply gave up its charge. Why on Earth didn't you plug it in, I ask. Because someone told me that the computer gets its power from the monitor, she says. I re-educate her. Now, I say, all you need to do is plug the computer in, and it'll work, and the battery will recharge. She can't - they didn't pack the power cord, since they thought they could just plug it into the monitor. Oh, this is swell. Now I get to tell her that she is completely out of luck, unless she can find a local computer dealer near where she is that would have one of these special cables in stock. I pointed out that even if the laptop could run off the monitor power, they should have taken the cable along. What they would have done if they wanted to take the laptop to the hotel at night to use, and leave the big monitor behind at the booth? She was quiet for a second, and says she didn't think of that. Turns out that she did want to use the laptop at the hotel room that night to enter contact info. Guess not, now.

It's my fault, I realize. I expected too much yet again.

Lunchtime caps it off when I am told that I suffer from a credibility gap at the office with managment. My gut feeling is I will probably not partake of any sort of formal skill set building activities with this employer anytime soon. Too little too late, I suppose, has been the story of my life, and par for my course. No amount of kowtowing or attitude adjustments will rebuild those imperceptible bridges that all parties involved have burned in our wake. That's a nice realization to have. I guess I'll wait and see what happens in the next few days. I don't think it takes a rhodes scholar to see that after dealing with the sort of numbheadedness that I do, day in and day out, it's very hard to keep oneself from building a fairly caustic attitude towards concepts like "teamwork" and "the common good" when all you see is the rewards going to the people you have pulled from the fire time after time with nothing left for you. And the killer of it is, the people you have bailed out the most are the very ones lighting the torches and stacking the wood under your feet.

Where's the justice? I hear there's a town called Justice in Kentucky, West Virginia, North Carolina, and Illinois. Take your pick and pack your bags. You won't find it here.

Entry... 6/5/99 3:23am

Well, here it is again, just a little after 3 in the morning. I'm ready to crash, so I won't be up too much longer after I finish this. I went to a party tonight at the home of one of my volleyball cohorts. I went there bearing good news, as our tshirt design is done, and we will have our shirts next week. This order was sort of a long time coming, since our printer went into the hospital for an operation. All is well again, and they will be running off our order asap now. At the party, I played on the trampoline, and did a couple of forward flips. The beverage choice of the evening was the darker Saranac flavors. We made, cooked and ate chicken and beef Shish-Ka-Bobs, fruit salad, potato salad, salad salad, and ice cream pies and cookies. We turned on the stereo and danced in the candlelit living room, and I used a flashlight as a sort of strobe light. It was very funky. They had asked me to bring along my guitar, as another guest was bringing his, but he never showed. But that didn't stop them from having me play a few tunes, and we had a sing along for an hour or so. Much fun.

When I get up, I expect to do a few chores around the house, make a run to the bank, and then decide if I am going to go to Lake George or Lake Sacandaga. Well, I suppose, either way, I will end up on Sacandaga for the night. I am supposed to spend the day with a friend on his boat on Lake George, but if I don't hear from him, I will just take my book and go right to Sacandaga for the weekend. I'll come home earlier on Sunday, as I am going to host a ping pong party here at the house.

We let an employee go at work today. I got called upon to change all of the door combinations (I act as junior locksmith for this firm, too) and lock out his account. Dismissing someone is never a fun or rewarding process. I'm glad that I didn't have to do it. I suppose I should also add that I had my review today, and it went just fine. I got a small, but acceptable, raise. No one can have a perfect review, I suppose, but I was a little miffed that they chose to give me negative marks on timeliness. Sure, the insomnia makes it hard to get in there, but do they realize that I am an employee who in 3 and a half years of working for them, has never taken a sick day? Who has worked late and weekends when it needed to happen? Who habitually loses vacation time because I just never take it? And they want to whine about 15 or 20 minutes here or there. It's interesting, but...oh well.

Entry... 6/5/99 11:34pm

I had a productive day today. I had been planning to go up and hang out on the boat, but got an early morning call that told me that the mast was down on my Dad's boat, and needed repairs before anyone could use the boat. Another call from my friend on Lake George, and he cancelled until tomorrow. So, that changed my plans. So I mowed the lawn, and then I cleaned the basement. That involved mopping and sweeping, opening up the windows, and moving lots of boxes around and storing stuff in closets. General tidying, and clearing out the extra room for the ping pong table. Did I mention that I was given a ping pong table? Well, anyway, the plan was to move it downstairs today, but when a friend dropped by to play, we decided to just set it up right in the garage. Which we did. We took a break and watched the Belmont Stakes, just in case that horse won the Triple Crown - it didn't. In fact, the horse broke a bone in it's ankle right before the finish line. Tragic.

We went to dinner at the Chinese Buffet. I couldn't believe how packed it was. We got there just before the big crowd. Got back home, and played some more ping pong. For some odd reason, we ended up watching "Doctor Doolittle" on HBO. Boy, that really sucked.

I fell in love with this online journal. It's a little raw, and may not be there long. Don't delay. She's done some healing, and moved since then, and here is her new site.

Entry... 6/7/99 6:45pm

Stop me before I do something really stupid. Or really smart. I don't know really how to classify my thoughts. Maybe it's a combination of the heat, and the beers I had on the deck at Sutter's after work. I know I ate enough food today. God knows I spent enough money. Maybe I'm better off taking a nap so these memories and new thoughts stop banging on my head.

To distract myself, I will talk about Sunday. I spent the day around the house. We moved the ping pong table to the basement, so now it has its own room. Fancy a game, anyone? More general cleaning. I had a visit from an ex-roommate early in the morning, and I returned to him the entire fish tank rig that we had inherited from him when he was suddenly called to Kentucky two years ago. I watched this great Discovery channel show about the top ten rollercoasters in the world, and now I am dying to go to this park in Pennsylvania and experience two rides called the Silver Phantom and the Thunderbolt. Seems that the Silver Phantom's 225 foot drop goes right through the Thunderbolt, an older wooden coaster. That's gotta be cool. I am going to the "Great Mistake" in Lake George next weekend, so I will be able to satisfy my appetite with the Comet...for now. It seems that everyone at work also saw this same show. Maybe we'll get a group together to take a trip.

Work today was awful. Three air conditioning units died. Our computer room temperature got to 87 degrees farenheit, when it is usually 72. This is not good for the electronics. At 4pm, we were able to recover one unit, and get the air temp in the room down to 80 and falling, but the rest of the building was unbearable. Everyone was wearing suits and ties. It was very uncomfortable. We bought some fans at Home Depot to try to get the air moving in the machine room, and that seemed to help a bit.

I added two new menu choices the this month's log. They both come from recommendations of readers here. On occasion I write poetry, and/or song lyrics, and I link to them contextually from my journal. Well, now you can get right to the whole page just by clicking on the "Random Poetry" option on the menu. The same suggestion was made about getting to my bio; used to be only able to get there from my "About" page. I will carry these options through from now on, and I may go back and add them to all the pages if I feel like it.

In my fantasy, she is smiling as she walks to me in a long blue dress. Silently, her arms fold around me. Her lips touch mine. My feet leave the ground.

Guess I need that nap.

Entry... 6/9/99 10:09am

In a dream, we are swimming like fishes, she and I. Perhaps more like dolphins or seals. At first, it's a swimming pool, but then it's a lake, and then an ocean. Island images, coconuts, palm trees, steel drum bands. These pictures fade. Now it is the deep. Unexplored waters. Brilliant schools of fishes, darting this way and that. The looming shadows of danger. We swim through it all. Her eyes and mine, occasionally locking together, a smile on our lips. Joy in our hearts. The future is unknown, but that doesn't matter, since the present is so perfectly here. Everything can be surmounted together.

Blue. If feelings were colors that we could somehow light the space around us with like some internal semaphore, that would be the color of my aura. I've been doing a lot of staring into space, and I don't exactly know why. Well, anyway. I suppose that this entry is more of an effort to explain that, right now, I am on some introspective kick and I am not feeling entirely extroverted. Everyday brings another nail in my coffin, another bat to my belfry, another toy in my attic.

The desk pop can count stands at 103 cans. I also tossed way too much information on the bio page. Somewhere in the last months, I filled out one of those email surveys, and it sort of fit the nature of the bio page, so I posted it. Take the time to fill it out and mail it to your friends. You may get to know each other better.

Entry... 6/9/99 11:34am

Here's a journal webring that keeps fairly active with its members. They do collaborations, wherein each member writes about the same topic.

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity." -Gilda Radner

It's only life after all.

Entry... 6/9/99 3:52pm

Lunch today was a plate of french fries, a couple of sodas and a bagel. Oh yeah, to that end, the pop can count is up to 105 now.

"The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of. Because words diminish them - words shrink things that seem limitless when they were in your head to no more than a living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is burried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried when you were saying it. That's the worst I think. When the secret stays locked within not for the want of a teller but for the want of an understanding ear." -- Stephen King

How I loved Stephen King's books in my teen years. How I devoured his pages with my eyes. How I miss having an understanding ear.

Entry... 6/10/99 3:41pm

Star Wars, The Phantom Menace. I suppose I should say something abut it. As pure escapism, I enjoyed it. Sure, I could sit here and poke big, round holes in it as if it were a ripe and tasty peach, but I won't. It was a movie. It is the epitomy of commercialism and capitalism, and the junction of dreams and vast wealth. It was 2 and a half hours that I wasn't mentally on this planet, and I was entertained. I never listen to crictics anyway. If I had, my hair would be a lot shorter. The bottom line, of course, is Jar Jar Binks must die.

Entry... 6/11/99 2:06pm

A friend and reader of this page sent me this link today. Marliyn Manson wrote a response to the negative journalism that he receieved over the Littleton, Colorado shootings.

Another friend took me to the ShockRave site today. If you have the shockwave plug-in for your browser, it's a lot of fun. If you don't have the plug in, get it, and try these out. I especially liked "Build your own Band" and the guitar riff generator.

Desk pop can count is up to 107. I went to the deli for lunch, and had a very hard time coming back into the building this afternoon. The weather is perfect. Oh well, it's going to be a really nice weekend, and I am only 3 hours away from walking out the door. I have to go home and pack. I'll be gone all weekend. Lake George tonight and tomorrow (The Great Mistake), and then the boat on Saturday night to Sunday morning. I have another barbecue/party gig on Sunday afternoon.

Entry... 6/15/99 10:26pm

I only got one piece of email today, and that was from myself. I found a couple websites that you might be interested in. Well, maybe not completely insterested in, but I thought that I would share them regardless. Our first candidate is a site called Wifes For Sale. You can also see what other members of the family have been marked down for a speedy sale. For Scientific news, you can visit Wired, and I loved this article on the possibility of Warp speed travel. This last one is a hoot: Ever want to learn how to play Air Guitar properly? Visit this site to discover all the finer points of this incredible instrument.

On Friday night in Lake George, they were holding the annual Americade, a huge conglomeration of motorcycles and their riders of all shapes and sizes. My buddy and I hung out up there all night, till 4 in the morning, watching bikes roar up and down main street in Lake George. We also watched the Sheriff cars roar up and down main street, too. We got to see the fireworks on top of Prospect Mountain from a beachside retreat. When we were having dinner, we got to see the end of the New York/Indianna basketball game. Since that victory was history being made, it was exciting, although I really wanted to see Indianna win.

I spent a whole day at the Great Escape, but only went on one new ride: The Alpine Slide. And it sort of sucked out loud. The Comet was always a winner, and the Raging River ride was fun. We went on those twice. It was another hot summer day, so we spent a fair amount of time drifting around Splashwater Kingdom on those blue tubes, and did the water slide. I hear that there is a new coaster nearing completion, so I just may have to go back to that park this summer. If they finish it. Anyway, dinner was a nice thick steak, grilled on the deck barbecue and washed down with a couple cold Saranac brews. Perfection.

On Monday night, I hung out with my Brother and had indian food from Ghandi in Albany, and then went to see the new Austin Powers movie at the Spectrum Theater. I didn't think that it was as funny as the first one, but it had a few funny moments. I'm still waiting for a movie to make me totally lose it like the "frank and beans" segment in "There's Something About Mary". Maybe the new South Park movie will do the trick. Speaking of South Park, there's a new one tomorrow night.

The big news, of course, is that today I learned that my favorite bar has my favorite beer on tap. Oh my. Oh me, oh my. It was a bright spot in an otherwise crappy week so far.

Tonight at volleyball one of the members gave me a picture of the group we had put together for the Saratoga Springs Tournament this year. We called ourselves The Rockets, and went 8 and 0 before losing in the semi-finals. It was a lot of fun. Here's a mini scan of that picture:

Entry... 6/16/99 11:07pm

Fell asleep on the couch last night, and woke up at 3:30am. Just in time to put myself to bed. Another killer day at work. We got surprised with the announcement that 3 new people would be starting in the next few days, one of them tomorrow. So we scrambled and got a PC configured and put on the floor. It's amazing how you get taken for granted. Barely an acknowledgement that we did anything special for them. If they think that less then 24 hours notice is going to become a habit, they have another think coming.

I got an email with one dissenting opinion regarding the call for the death of the Jar Jar Binks character in Star Wars. What do you think? I read a really good article today in Salon Magazine online that went over many perceived failings of the newest episode. It's really become bigger than the simple presense of Jar Jar. I think it comes down to the fact that the whole film is nothing more than eye candy and regurgitated science fiction from every imaginable source.

It's story time for the old journal here! Why? Why not! So here we go. Here's my story, sad but true. It's about a girl that I once knew. She took my heart and ran around. With every single guy in town.

Ok, so maybe that was a song.

So, a story. Ok. Wait a second. (Rustling sounds) Ah! Here's one. Sit right and you'll hear a tale. A tale of a fateful trip (oh geez, wait that's another song.) (Rustle Rustle) Ah ha!

One fine day, Melvin the Elf was walking through the woods, minding his own business. From above, he suddenly heard a voice, booming out of nowhere; and everywhere. It was a rich baritone voice, and bells jingled in the trees as if a light breeze was disturbing their slumber.

"Sit down, Melvin," said the voice.

"Uh, pardon me?" said Melvin.

"You'd better sit down, friend. This one is going to knock your socks off."

So, Melvin sat, and the voice went on to describe in great detail that it was the voice of God. Melvin, of course, did not believe the voice at first, and after about an hour of explaining the nature of the Universe, creation, life after death, and revealing many answers to Man's endless questions (plus a few not so veiled references to what Melvin does at night in the privacy of his own home with a tub of peanut butter and a hot dog), Melvin was convinced.

"So....uh...God... um... What do you want? What can a lowly land creature like me possibly do for you? What could you possibly need from me?"

God went on to explain that as a non-physical deity, that he wanted to borrow Melvin's earthly container. In fact, to experience a range of human emotion. Well, in this case, Elf Emotion. God explained that he wanted to experience happiness and joy. Love and bliss. All the good emotions that could be had just for the mere taking. How incredibly lucky we humans (and Elfs) are to have such a wonderous gift dancing on our nerve endings.

"That's nuts. That is the single most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I refuse to be a part of your stupid little experiment." quoth Melvin the Elf.

"Ah well," said God, and in a puff of smoke, was gone forever. Leaving Melvin quite alone.

Entry... 6/17/99 1:50am

Just watched the newest South Park. I wasn't totally impressed by it. Funny thing though - they attempted to conjure up a character similiar to Jar Jar Binks in the form of a clumsy, long armed, annoying amphibious lifeform named Jakov. They fooled Jakov and his family into going to France, where they were welcomed with open arms.

Try this online Complaint Generator out.

Entry... 6/17/99 9:48am

Dave Hay, the President of Essential Stragtegies, has a page full of personal reflections and stories that I am enjoying these days. He spent two months touring Europe in 1973, and his trip is detailed here. I found it fascinating. Of course, I have always dreamed of taking a similar trip myself. Honestly, after reading his account, I am not so sure that I still want to. Of course, times have changed certainly, but I wonder if for the better?

I had mentioned a Salon magazione article that I read yesterday, but didn't provide a link for it here in my journal. I actually had done that on purpose, meaning only to talk about the article in the general, but a journal reader asked that I provide this link so you can read the article as well. So now, in yesterday's entry, you can click through to the article. I don't know how long they keep those online, but for the moment, it works.

Entry... 6/17/99 2:54pm

Eric Schulman of the National Radio Astronomy Observatory in Charlottesville, Virginia has penned a "History of the Universe in 200 words or Less" as a part of the Universal History Translation Project in The Annals of Improbable Research publication. You can read his version here, and take a peek at some of the translations of his original text. I would just repost it here, but that would probably violate some copyright or something.

Entry... 6/18/99 9:15am

Grey mood today, but hopefully there's light at the end of the tunnel. We'll see.

Fans of that newfangled robotic dog, the Aibo, should click here. If you are so inclined, browse the rest of the Onion. It's a great site and a real riot.

Entry... 6/19/99 1:02am

Here's a fun site. People wrote "prank" letters to various firms. The responses are sometimes funnier than the prank itself. Check out the one called "Knocked up"

I meant to mention that I saw the movie "Pecker" this week. A story of how fame can adversely affect an artist, and his family, when it occurs suddenly and without warning. I liked the movie, but found the ending to be a bit too "hollywood". I suppose everything just has to be a happy ending, right? It would have been better if at the end, he did do a whole show on the "art crowd", but instead of liking it (or getting too drunk and silly to care) as they did - the artsy fartsy crowd loads their Armani laden selves back into thier limosines and high tails it back to their sanitized, one-off view of the world. From there, they can flatter themselves and each other with their empty words and comic praise. While far way from these ego driven socialites, back on the ranches and in the gutters and in the office buildings of the real america, the actual reallity of life occurs.

As you can tell, I am freshly home from a fairly busy day full of coworkers, vice presidents, gigabit ethernet backbones, clustered storage solutions, lawyers, judges, baliffs, ex-wives, mommy and daddy (after all of that I needed my mommy), the ferret, the dog, moving sailboats, just a quick computer question, a burger at the Ship's Pub, softball (we got spanked), drinking, friends, giving relationship advice, darts, giving more advice, new friends, breakfast at Denny's, philosophical discussion, and coffee. I have to be up early tomorrow. It's going to be a long day. I have to work in the morning in the computer room, and then pack up and head out west. The band is working a wedding in the evening. I plan to spend the night at the lake, and head to my parents house for a Father's Day/Birthday combination party.

Speaking of which, everyone grab a glass. A toast, if you will, to my Mother. The sweetest person I have ever, and will ever know. Happy birthday, Mom. I love you. (clink. Ok, drink up before I need a tissue).

Entry... 6/20/99 8:34pm

Home again, home again. I was peeking through the online TV listings to see if there is anything worth watching on the tube tonight. I am considering renting a video now that I have discovered nothing worthwhile on, so I'll be walking to Hollywood Video in a few monents here, but I had to laugh out loud when I saw a listing on HBO2 for "Mother Night" - the movie adaptation of Kurt Vonnegut's novel. The numbskulls listed it as a "Comedy-Drama". Now that's a hoot!

Entry... 6/21/99 6:24pm

Happy Summer Solstice! Today is the longest day of the year. Strange. It feels like it has been summer for quite some time now. A lot of people would consider summer to be about 1/3 over already. We've been really lucky with this great string of weather. I hope that it keeps up.

Entry... 6/21/99 10:42pm

To celebrate the beginning of summer, I went out tonight and visited a couple of my favorite places in Albany. First stop was Beff's on Waltervliet Avenue for a tall frosty black and tan, and a huge order of their Irish Nachos. Even with help, we couldn't finish the order. The waitress claimed that everything was coming out of the kitchen in huge portions that night. I believe her. After that, it was time to visit Kurver Kream on Central Avenue. I had the regular hot fudge sundae with chocolate ice cream, whipped cream and nuts. It was the best. Sat around and talked about movies, and music, families, and books for awhile, and then it was time to come home.

I got my t shirts for my volleyball team today. They look pretty good, although they did screw up the order on my shirt. I wanted an extra large, and my number was printed on a large shirt. I'll have to try to call them to see if they can reprint it or something. What did I expect - I chose number 13. I suppose it's an omen. Off to a great start!

Entry... 6/22/99 7:50am

Today I am taking the day off. A coworker and I were invited to attent an all day golf outing, sponsored by vendors that supply the network gear and computer hardware that we work with. Of course, I am not a big golfer, but the point is getting out and metting some of these faceless vendors, and having some drinks and food together. There's a big dinner at the country club at the end of the night. It's going to be a beautiful day.

The desk top pop can count went up to 108 yesterday.

Here's a web site, chock full of information on movies, video releases, the people who work in film, and the people who star in them. So, take a trip to Hollywood.

Entry... 6/25/99 2:18am

I don't know about you, but I was disappointed by the last two episodes of South Park. The movie opens this weekend, and I am tempted to go see it. Mostly because I don't really have a lot of plans for the weekend. It's been a fairly busy week, as you can tell by the lack of entries in the journal. The golf outing was a lot of fun. The saying of the day was that a "bad day on the golf course beats a good day at work anyday," and you know what? They're right about that. My team shot for par on an 18 hole course, nothing to write home about, but we had a fine time.

My co-worker is always a source of good humor and inspiration to me, and he said something very true at the dinner that followed our swing around the greens. Now I am probably going to get this wrong, but I will paraphrase it for now. He asked what the difference between bravery and stupidity is. The answer is, of course, success.

Here's a song on the radio that I really like the words too. Click here to read Out of my head by Fastball.

My new friend is Colleen Quirion, Esquire, Schnectady County Family Court Child Support Hearing Examiner. Thanks to her, I had a very good Wednesday. Now I have never been the kind of guy that enjoys gloating, and I refuse to go there now because I am larger than that, but golly, it feels good for the little guy to finally win one. It's been 5 long years, and I am glad that the that light at the end of the tunnel is even closer now. Looking at my life in retrospect, I see how many times doing the perceived "right thing" has turned out to be the most wrong thing I could have done. Well, campers, has he learned his lessons? Will he do it again? I suppose that we can do nothing but stay tuned to this chronicle and find out for ourselves. There's always another day.

Surprise to me, I also bought a boat on Wednesday. What a surprise that was. Of course, I owe storage on it before I can get it back, and the engine needs fixing before it'll work, but the point is that I own it now. Mine. All mine. I also got a parking ticket for being 5 minutes late back to my car. What's up with that, Albany? The meters only give you 20 minutes, and most normal business takes about that long. Not to mention that I had to walk 3 blocks to get from where I had to park to where I had to be.

Ok, I'm getting pretty tired here. One last thing, and then I go to bed. My brother sent me this in email. It is a guide to your sexual personae, based on the first letter in your name. Have fun out there, and be good to one another.

Entry... 6/26/99 4:19am

Here's a fun filled astrology web site call Your Horoscope.

I'm not an ugly human. I'm a really pretty ape.

Sober - Tool

There's a shadow just behind me,
shrouding every breath I take,
making every promise empty,
pointing every finger at me.
Waiting like a stalking butler
who upon the finger rests.
Murder now the path called "must we"
just before the son has come.
Jesus, won't you fucking whistle
something but the past and done?

Why can't we not be sober?
I just want to start this over.
Why can't we drink forever.
I just want to start things over.

I am just a worthless liar.
I am just an imbecile.
I will only complicate you.
Trust in me and fall as well.
I will find a center in you.
I will chew it up and leave,
I will work to elevate you
just enough to bring you down.

Trust me.

Mother Mary won't you whisper
something but what's past and done.

Trust me.

I want what I want.

Entry... 6/28/99 10:02pm

Here's a funny web site with William Shatner. Sing along, if you dare!

You May Be Right - Billy Joel

friday night i crashed your party,
saturday i said i'm sorry
sunday came and trashed me out again.
i was only having fun,
wasn't hurting anyone
and we all enjoyed the
weekend for a change.

i've been stranded
in the combat zone,
i walked through bedford sty alone
even rode my motorcycle in the rain.
and you told me not to drive,
but i made it home alive
so you said that only proves that i'm insane.

you may be right,
i may be crazy
but it just may be a lunatic
you're looking for
turn out the light,
don't try to save me
you may be wrong for all i know,
but you may be right.

remember how i found you there,
alone in your electric chair
i told you dirty jokes until you smiled.
you were lonely for a man,
i said take me as i am
cause you might enjoy
some madness for a while.

now think of all the years you tried
to find some one to satisfy you
i might be as crazy as you say.
if i'm crazy then it's true,
that it's all because of you
and you wouldn't want me any other way.

you may be wrong, but you may be right

Entry... 6/29/99 9:34pm

Well, my 34th birthday is fast approaching. I must say that I'm looking forward to it. I am expecting to take the day off, so I am hoping it doesn't rain to terribly much, but if it does, it does. I am still a little tender from the weekend. I guess I was out in the sun a little too much. I spent the weekend basically reading and falling asleep in the sun, and then falling into the lake, and doing it all over again. Not a bad deal at all.

Some friends of my brother's (and I suppose I could say of mine, as well) were over tonight. We played swing music really loudly, and made dinner, and then they surfed the net for awhile while I played the guitar. Here is a web site chock full of tests of every kind from personality to sex. They took a jealousy test. We also found these Psych tests.

Because of the rains this week, I haven't had softball or volleyball. Supposedly, I am having band practice tomorrow night. We have a big gig this weekend on Saturday night for a Harley gang. Ok, so it's not really a gang, but they all ride. It's going to be a lot of fun.

My desk pop can count went up by 4 in the last week, and now stands at 112 cans.

Entry... 6/29/99 9:34pm

This test to see how romantic you are was forwarded to me by a friend.

I had a busy day at work, but it was a successful one. Had a lot of meeting regarding the future, additional equipment, additional staffing my department. It was nice to be able to put our heads together like this and possibly solve a lot of problems. Ahhh, the wonders of empowerment. Funny thing happened: I was asked for input on a possible company picnic or outing. So, I gave them a couple ideas. Let's see if they actually use them and they come to pass.

A coworker of mine remembered my birthday and gave me a funny card at the end of the day today, since I won't be in the office tomorrow. It was really sweet of them to remember. I'll be boating on Lake George all day tomorrow to celebrate day one of the annual week long birthday celebration.

Band practice tonight was wickedly silly, and a lot of fun. We added a bunch of songs, and had a little birthday party. 4 members of the band are all Cancers, with birthdays this week, so we had pizza and an ince cream cake. We must have sang happy birthday 6 or 7 times!