August 1999

Entry... 8/3/99 12:51pm

"I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center." - Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

I've had a busy couple of weeks. Summer is in full swing, and I have found myself up at the lake on the boat for the past 3 weekends, and the next two look like more of the same plan. I will get out to see 'Gypsy' at Washington Park this week, for sure. This between softball games, and volleyball games, concerts, and band practice. My band is getting busier by the day. We have a lot of gigs booked for the fall now. This is a very good thing. I'll be taking some road trips out to Vermont, and of course, to Ohio this month. It's always a busy time of year for me.

On Saturday, I went and visited my boat. The engine is broken, of course, but there it was, sitting on blocks, all shrink wrapped and waiting for me to save enough money to get it out of hock and get the ring job it needs. At least, I am hoping that all it needs is a ring job. That will only cost $400 or so. Jeepers.

The desk pop can count is up to 120 cans now.

I saw the band Moby last night at Northern Lights in Clifton Park. Great show. Hotter than an oven, and packed with people from all walks of life. Techno-Trance music draws them all out. There were a lot of tattoos and body piercings. A lot of pretty girls, no frat boys, and only one person with green hair. I've noticed that many people are into carrying around those glo-stiks and dancing with them. A nice effect. I like the opening act, Moa. They are an Icelandic group, and sort of reminded me of Uma Thurman guest starring in a Portishead video.

Over the weekend I was sitting on the boat, listening to the radio. A commerical came on for a local jewelry chain. These commericals are commonly known as "the most annoying things known to man." This one was no exception. But it seemed to carry the message that if you are married to someone, then they deserve to be bought shiney rocks. There's an important distinction to be made here. Marriage: You gotta give them diamonds. Dating: You gotta give them orgasms.

"So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they're already met?" - Hobbes, of Calvin & Hobbes

The receptionist passed a phone call on to me at work today. I got a chance to have a little fun with a telemarketer. This youngster was taking data on mens apparel in the workplace; both business and casual clothing, dress codes, where and how much money I spent on clothes, etc. As we moved through the survey, I took great joy in making things up for her. I told her that I was 60+ in age, upper management, making millions of dollars a year, wore hawaiian shirts, sequined tu-tus, angora sweaters, rhinestone gloves, clog shoes and headbands to work, spent 67,000 annually on clothing (mostly at costume shops and not specialty stores like the gap). I told her that I was kicked out of third grade, and didn't play well with others. When she asked me what my position with the company was, I told her "Elf."

In other company news, it appears that my entire firm is going to be acquired in totality. Bought out. Swallowed. I wonder what's going to happen. We could survive, or we could be gone.

"Some days, even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help." - Calvin, of Calvin & Hobbes

I had a wild dream this morning. A coworker here (his first appearance in my dreams) and I were in a motorcycle shop. He seemed to know a lot about motorcycles in the dream (he doesn't ride), and I fell in love with this used blue 850. I don't even know what brand is was. I think I just created it in my dream. We looked at it, and walked around the store, while my coworker taught me all about bikes, maintenance tips, etc. We came back to the bike, and noticed that it had a fairly worn front tire. So, right there in the store, he and I changed the tire for them (We're techs. We like to fix things). When I left the store, the salesman gave me a business card with another card attached to the back of it. I didn't even look at the other card until we got into my coworker's car (a Saturn). It was an offer of sale. The bike was like 9,500 dollars and they were offing 4,200 or some such amount, if I bought it right away. A large portion of the middle of the dream is the drive home. We got caught in traffic and took a whole bunch of side streets, sometimes driving on grassy knolls. My friend seemed to know where he was going. We got thirsty, so we stopped at a hotel that has a bar for a drink. We walk in to the bar, and it's full of what felt like a family; uncles, aunts, kids, sisters, brothers. A big family. Maybe they were all there after a wedding reception. Maybe it was the reception. Three sisters were dressed all in tight dresses, trying to play pool. He and I looked at each other, and decided to make a quiet exit. We went out back where the car was parked, and police were searching the parking lot. They were on the other side of the lot, and I said "Let's get out of here before they start asking us questions." So we left, and did some more side street driving until he dropped me off.

Last month I shared an snippet of a story that I had written, with Melvin the Elf having a conversation with God. I was asked by a journal reader what happened to Melvin next. People are always so interested in closure and happy endings. Well, the question lead me to think that Melvin the Elf did the only the natural, logical thing: He created an entire religion based upon his visitation from the almighty, and despite the apparent lack of anything substantial to say, people still swarmed to him, his church, and his teachings based merely upon that pretext. His writings were translated into many languages, and his image was deified (even in communist China). After his death, special means were undertaken to create the first, and only masoleum for his earthly remains on the moon. Psalms and parables were penned for him, and Rolls Royce named a customized version of their vehicle for him, 'The Melvin'.

I got a chance to sail in a race last weekend on a beautiful Sabre 30. We ran 3 races, and finished second each time. There could have been more wind, but we all had a great time regardless. I miss being able to get out into the big water and I desperately needed it. It felt great. I climbed into the rigging when we were done racing, and rode on the mainsail back to port with the breeze on my face.

I suppose I have to vent about this whole Kennedy thing. Don't even get me started about the press coverage. They just piss me off in general. Tragic as the deaths of these young, bright people may be, I just can't understand why they spent millions of dollars to bring him up to the surface just to.... BURY HIM AT SEA??!?! Hello!!! Am I the only one on this planet who is thinking: "Why don't you just toss a wreath off the frickin' ship and be done with it?!?!!?!?"

"I can't be bought.... but I can be tempted." - a coworker.

Lunchtime. Time to forage for some nuts and berries.

Entry... 8/4/99 11:22am

I got together with my brother for lunch yesterday and had a good time hanging out. We took my car, known as "The Beast," over to Valvoline and got the oil changed. It's actually a good deal. I got a filter, oil, a car wash, and a vacuum for 20 bucks. While we waited for my car, we took a 1993 minivan for a test drive. I wasn't crazy about it especially, but it did have a V6 and average mileage. We had lunch at Friendly's, and I was surprised by the type of bread they use in their buns now. Not too bad.

All of the managers here at work are going ape shit today. The company that is buying us is here for three days, and everyone is on pins and needles. I think I am going to lose one of my favorite coworkers really soon. He went to "Defcon 3" today, which is our code for "the resumes have hit the street." He is not happy today. Our boss sent out an email asking everyone to check with him before leaving the building, in case we are needed. My coworker wondered aloud if he is allowed to go to the bathroom today.

We have another employee leaving us this week. She has a history here of being a bit of a snipe, as she loves to play practical jokes on people. I was given the task of dealing her a parting shot. So I scanned in some pictures of her, and created a flyer that touted Macarena lessons, complete with a picture of her. We're going to photocopy it and post it all over the place. Here's a sample:

Entry... 8/5/99 12:22am

Had a great band practice tonight. We added three or four new songs, one of them very funky and a lot of fun to play. Tonight was the first time I really felt comfortable behind my bass guitar. One of the new songs we added last week is one I sing, and I play bass on the tune. Tonight, I had no problem playing and singing, and I was able to play full neck walks at the same time. That's something I've never been able to do before. We also learned about a few more bookings for the band. The schedule is starting to fill up. A couple of nights ago, I was playing the guitar and came up with some progressions I really liked. Perhaps I'll feel inspired enough to write some lyrics to go with this new music. I have decided that all the money I make in the band this winter will go into the "boat fund." I may as well finance one passion with another. The first order of business will be to fix the broken one. If I decide to sell it later, then that money will help to get me into a bigger boat. If I keep it, then I at least have it to use. Either way, the goal is to save the money.

When I got home tonight, my brother was watching a movie he rented. So I got some dinner, while he finished is, and then we watched another one together - "Rushmore". It starred Bill Murray and centered around a young man who led a very interesting life. I liked it a lot. Here's a couple of quotes from the film:
Rosemary Cross: Has it ever crossed your mind that you're far too young for me?
Max Fischer: It crossed my mind that you might consider that a possibility, yeah

Max Fisher: The truth is, neither one of us has the slightest idea where this relationship is going. We can't predict the future.
Rosemary Cross: We don't have a relationship.
Max Fisher: But we're friends.
Rosemary Cross: Yes, and that's all we're *going* to be. Well, yes...
Max Fisher: That's all I meant by "relationship." You want me to grab a dictionary?

Max Fischer: I like your nurse's uniform, guy.
Dr. Peter Flynn: These are O.R. scrubs.
Max Fischer: Oh, are they?

Max Fischer: Maybe I'm spending too much of my time starting up clubs and putting on plays. I should probably be trying harder to score chicks.

I forgot to mention that the landlord finally authorized a new toilet for my house. That was installed this week. It works great. No more having to go to the basement just to flush.

I finished my workday today with a one hour conversation with the director for my department. What a paradigm shift he and I have had in the last year. Not that long ago, I was the employee voted most likely to walk into the building with a shotgun. But nowadays, I do my job, and sit mostly with a bemused smile on my face while everyone else around me pisses and moans about whatever they want to piss and moan about. I think he was trying to get my take on what's going on in my side of the department with the impending takeover, and how thinly we are spread. We also talked about wives, ex wives, children, houses, cars, careers, the weather, and I slid in what I could to better my own position in the company (more training, more responsibility, more money.) Hey, you can't let opportunities like this pass you by.

Entry... 8/5/99 12:06pm

Surfing the net while at work today. I have to hang around my desk while everyone is in a big meeting with the company that is considering purchasing our firm. I get to handle problems and watch the phones. When they all get out, I can go get something to eat. This always happens on the days that I am the hungriest, too. That's what I get for having chinese food for dinner. It just doesn't stick around very long. Today is Metroland day, so I will perform my weekly ritual. Used CD store, get a couple Metrolands, go to the pizza place.

Found this great looking web site, an online magazine called the Nerve Magazine. I also found this New York photographer named Katrina del Mar.

Got turned on to a new internet site, great for finding audio files on the net. Check out Scour.Net

Desk pop can count up by two today: 122

Entry... 8/6/99 2:07am

I just got home (for the second time tonight.) I went to Hannaford for an early morning shopping run with my brother. He needed some staples, and I needed some hair gel. While we were checking out, I got a craving for a Mounds bar. Unfortunately for me, it appears that Mounds is not a candy of choice, as it is not featured in the checkout aisles. I was too tired to walk back to the candy aisle, and besides, they only come in packs of 10 back there. I just wanted one Mounds. You know, coconut surrounded by all that creamy chocolaty goodness? Stores suck. Marketing "professionals" with pie charts and bar graphs suck. Get Mounds to the front, please. So I had a Milky Way bar instead. It said that it was "New!" on the wrapper, but I couldn't figure out what was so new about it. They had Mily Ways when I was growing up, as I recall. It can't be that new.

My brother bought some Star Wars stickers in a vendomatic machine, trying for an R2-D2 one. No joy there. He also bouth some win for life games. After much scratching, there was again, no joy. Back to work tomorrow.

I had a softball game after work today, and we won, 21-11. That's two wins this week for us. Not bad. Playoffs here we come! I drove up to Saratoga afterwards, and had a few brews and caught a good little buzz. Played some shuffleboard and Air Hockey and talked about the recent 5.4 Billion punitive damages awards givin to some family who sued GM over an accident. What bugs me is that no one in this family was killed when a truck ran square in the back of their 1984 vehicle at 50-70 miles per hour. We're talking an event nothing short of miraculos. Instead of pinning a medal on these engineers for a great job done, a jury (who probably spends more time sliding around on their own drool) rules against GM and comes up with this obsene amount of money as an award. There's something wrong with the world today.

A friend of mine mailed me a link today, so I am tossing it your way. Follow this link for a web site full of cartoon jokes. You can also visit the parent page, here at Rudezone. Since we're all in a link following mood, here is a new web site set up by the morning DJ's that I mostly listen to when my alarm first goes off.

Time for bed. It's going to be a busy weekend. I won't be in town very much, so with this entry, dear readers, I leave you until we meet again.

Entry... 8/10/99 3:19am

I had a very productive day today. I got about 4 hours of sleep last night, and woke up at 6am. I showered, conditioned my hair, and brushed my teeth like normal, and then cooked an omlette for breakfast. I usually never eat a big meal in the morning. A fairly simple omlette with green and red peppers and jalepeno monterey jack cheese, joined by a glass of orange juice. Work was typical. There was a DOA PC this morning, thanks to a crappy Quantum Bigfoot hard drive. I thought that I had gotten rid of all of them by now, but I guess I missed this one. Probably a controller failure. In any case: dead. So I called in the part, and when I got a replacement drive (same day service - gotta love my vendor!), I started the rebuild. I tried to buy a watch battery at lunch time, but the model I was looking for was nowhere to be found. All out of stock. I go out again tomorrow to search. When I got home, I had a pile of projects waiting for me. I have been out so much, I sort of let things go. So I started my laundry, had friends over for dinner, washed dishes, cleaned the kitchen, picked up the family room, talked to my parents, talked to my ex-wife and daughter about our upcoming trip, talked to a friend for 2 hours, did the household bills, organized some papers, and topped the night off by folding the laundry along with Jay Leno's headlines, and Eddie Murphy's Beverly Hills Cop from 1984. A lot of great old music in the soundtrack for that film.

When I talked to my daughter she told me a story about her very first accident on a motorized vehicle. It seems she was given the reins to your standard four wheeler (an ATV) and promptly had an argument with a fence. She said that the fence won, but not without taking some major damage. She's ok, thank goodness, just a few bruises and scratches. She said she wasn't planning to drive one anytime soon. We're gearing up for our vacation in 2 weeks. I'm looking forward to it. I can't wait to see her and try some of those new roller coasters. It's like a two for one thing for me. She said that she wants to play canasta with me when we are there, and she wants me to be her partner. Too cute.

Check out this java enabled website - Kevin's Balls. It's a really great script experiment. You need to have Netscape 4.0, at least, to run the script.

Well, that's it for me for today. This spunky camper needs to get some sleep. It's volleyball day.

Entry... 8/10/99 4:59pm

I guess the sleep deprivation of the last few days took its toll on me this morning. I got out of the shower, and got out my brother's electric razor to shave. Just a little off the top, as I was getting shaggy. Well, I zoned and took the plastic number 2 blade off the thing and dragged the naked metal blade over my left cheek.
Zzzzt.
"That didn't feel right," I thought. And looked. And looked again.
So, I tried my best to make amends in the brief period of time I had, and I know sport a Van Dyke, something like side burns, and since I didn't have time to shave with a razor, the "dirty" George Michael thing on the sides.
It'll grow.

In the news today, 68 year old William Shatner (of Star Trek fame) found his 40 year old 3rd wife dead in the swimming pool of thier home. Apparently an accidental drowning.
The news media is probably already on thier chartered flights, descending upon Studio City, Los Angeles. You can hear the heads talking already, eating them alive and scouring every last detail of the scene. It's so pathetic how they act. Close your eyes, and listen to what they are saying:
"Here's another shot of the pool...."
"There are an average of 2,300 swimming pool related accidents and deaths reported in this country every year...."
"Here's another shot of the grieving Shatner, who discovered his wife's lifeless body on that dark, pale, moonless night in August..."
"Here's another shot of the pool...."
"New Legislation has been introduced in the House of Representatives, focusing on the ban of swimming pools in America. 'The swimming pools of our Nation are nothing but stinking death traps and accidents waiting to happen!' exclaimed Republican Speaker from Delaware...."
"Did everyone see the shot of the pool?"
A friend of mine wrote: "ET will cover it for a week with all kinds of interviews. I give the Enquirer a couple of days to splash some sordid tale abt how he beat her then dumped her in the pool or found out she had a lover & got her drunk, then shoved her in the pool or that she liked Spock better."
Just wait till they report with glee that she was naked. (a collective right wing gasp)

Over the weekend, I had the opportunity to drop a piece of my Dad's boat overboard, and life being what life is, I took advantage of the opportunity. Bloop, went the friendly little bit of boat, as it sailed downward to a future of mud and fish, leaving behind its past of sunshine and wind. I tried to dive for the part in 16 feet of water and got to the bottom each time, but had no joy in finding it. So I rigged up a temporary bit (made with hanger wire - there isn't much I can't make out of hanger wire) and faced the ultimate challenge of informing my Dad. I greased the wheels a bit, entertaining him with stories of hovercraft, drunken jet ski riders, and an early morning light show that the state troopers put on with their vehicles and search lights. Then the moment of truth. He took it well, and my newfound vocabulary (I had to learn what all those bits were actually called) assisted in the explanation. I also did some research with a catalog, so I knew how much cash I was about to part with to replace the shiny bit. I ordered a replacement part today, so he should have it by the weekend.

Entry... 8/13/99 4:07pm

Happy Friday the Thirteenth. I love this day. A lot of people are superstitious about things like this. I'd be the first to walk under a ladder. Related reading on the origins of triskaidekaphobia can be found here: Channel 3000 story on Friday the 13th and "Fear of Number 13". For those of you not afraid of the number, visit Lucky 13 Trivia.

Our softball team had another big win last night. Just one more game in the regular season on Monday night, and then we go into the playoffs. I played right field for most of the game, and batted fairly well. Just base hits, but the batters behind me brought me in.

Last night I went to Caffe Lena for the first time in a long time to catch the open mike. It was good to see some of the old standards play again, and Camille West did a few songs. The up and coming group was fairly fun, and talented. There was some bad that tested the suckometer, but then again, there always are. This cute little thing sat down behind the piano and said "This song is about a guy who is a jerk." I said, out loud, "Aren't they all?" and got a laugh from both the crowd, and the performer. She sang a lot like Sarah McLachlan.

This site is full of great articles: Exotica Magazine Online.

I think I am going to go check out the 60 foot replica of the White House today at the Armory Center. It's fun and educational! Then: Chinese food. A group of people at work are looking to get an Indian food night going. I'll have to call my brother in on that one.

Entry... 8/17/99 11:16am

Wow, I can't believe that it is Tuesday already. And we're halfway through August. Somebody mentioned to me that once we hit September, we only have 100 days to go until year 2000 (not the millenium). Crazy. I guess we are still trying to work out what the band is doing that night, but I suddenly find myself not caring if we work or not. I'll find a party somewhere.

On Friday night at the Chinese restaurant, my brother convinced me to eat some sushi for the first time in my life. Now, I confess, I only had a few California Rolls (and I still think the heavier duty raw stuff will not agree with me) but it was very good. I loved the presentation of my General Tso entree. it came on a large platter, with a little sterno-like candle to keep it hot. I ate so much food. Then we rented "Clay Pidgeons," with Jeanine Garafolo and Vince Vaughn. It was enjoyable.

Saturday, I went to a barbecue at a friend's camp on the Sacandaga. It was a pretty good time. We were able to take out the jet skis between snatches of rain and ride the crazy waves. I prefered the bombadier model ski for it's stability and smooth ride. Well, ok, it had the bigger engine, too. We played volleyball, cards and pictionary, and ate a lot of food. It seemed that there was always something to eat within reach, and my hand just seemed to be gravitating towards the bowls. Spent the night at my Dad's boat, and I was able to not drop anything overboard this time. It was a cool night, and I slept very well. I spent most of Sunday at another barbecue with my band. This time it was a birthday party for a young boy. We played for a few hours, and a banjo player sat in for a spell. There was the cutest little kitten there, and it had fun climbing around the equipment, and at one point was inside the bass drum.

"Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie, this guy would be buried in the credits as the 'Second Tall Man'." - read at work.

Well, I suppose I'd better get back to work. I'm here late today, as it is volleyball night.

Entry... 8/19/99 11:23am

I can't believe all the things I have to do today at lunchtime. I have so many errands to run, I don't know how I will fit eating in, but I have to. I'm hungry as all get out today. Hell, I'd almost eat tofu. I gotta get downtown Albany to pick up some more band t-shirts, since we have a gig on Friday night. I want to have some around to sell, in case anybody wants one. Hmm, this reminds me - two of my volleyball compatriots owe me money. Oh well, I'll get it when I get back from vacation. It's like money in the bank.

I also got some good news yesterday - my state tax return is finally clear of all hinderances and expects to be deposited into my account. Now I can get the boat out of hock, and soon even get it fixed. Of course, the season is just about over at the lake, since the water level is so low, so this will be for next year.

My Dad sent me an email yesterday full of news, and I won't cut and paste it all here, but the long and short of it is that while he was up at the lake, a young girl (23), who was visiting some members, heard about the shiny bits of boat that he and I have been dropping overboard all season. She happened to have dive equipment with her, so down she went. After 4 determined dives, she came up with all the little pieces of stainless steel that we dropped. Fantastic! So the saga ends with a happy ending and no money lost. is this how they felt when they found the Titanic? Could it be?

My Mom and Dad are heading out for their annual visit to the Altamont Fair. If you've never been, and have the time, I highly recommend it. It runs through Sunday. I won't be able to go myself, as I have so much going on. I have to work Saturday, and then on Sunday I leave for Ohio and points west. I'll be sure to give you a full report on all the rollercoasters I ride. Speaking of the fair, a friend asked me what I liked about it. I responded in email (this I will cut and paste), "I like the atmosphere of the fair. The fair represents the soft white underbelly of America. The midway is fun to visit and people watch, even though I avoid the rides. The fried dough. Gotta see the running pigs. I like the border collie show (it involves sheep). I have always wanted to see a smash up derby. The circus can be fun. Don't forget the logging exhibition and the 4H display with the chicks hatched under light bulbs. Forget the side show and the rigged games of chance."

I haven't had a watch for two days now. I keep referring to my forearm. A teammate at volleyball volunteered to hold it for me while we played and put it in her purse. She ended up leaving before I did, and we forget all about it. Her boyfriend stopped by last night to make arrangements with me to pick it up at his workplace on Friday, since he works where I live. That was nice of him, but I couldn't help wondering why he just didn't bring it over when he came to make the arrangements?

Diet soda does nasty things to computer keyboards. Aren't users great?

Entry... 8/19/99 3:50pm

I got all of my errands done while I was at work today. I also stopped into the post office, to see if there was anything for me in my post office box, and strangely enough found it completely empty. Now it's been over 2 weeks since I checked it last, and I always have a ton of junk mail waiting for me. I don't know why they don't just print out the junk mail and throw it right into the trash instead of mailing it to me. That's what I do with it. I get 5 credit card offers a month. So, ok, empty box. I walk up to the counter, and I say "Hey! Where's my junk mail?" They check and lo and behold my box has been cancelled due to non-payment. Nice of them, seeing how I paid for another year on my last visit. I tell them my check number and the day that I was there, and they find my receipt right in the book. Oh, sweet. So they apologize, and luckily I get to have my same box number again. They said that all the mail I got since July 28th was returned. I hope that there was nothing important.

I give the junk mail people a week to find me again.

The most dehumanizing thing in the whole world is shared restrooms. And I am not talking gender. I hate, and I mean really hate, multi-stalled restrooms. Some things should be private, and I'm not talking about taking a whizz. Everyone needs a little alone time, and that's one of them. Oh, can I say this as well - more fans in the freaking bathrooms. Heck, people can't smoke these days without some fan sucking the air from your lungs.

I'm off to the orchestra tonight for some culture. My brother is planning to see "Detroit Rock City," the movie about the kids trying to go see a Kiss concert back in the heyday of glam rock. I kind of want to see it, ever since I saw the previews a month ago, so now I can wait for his review. I'll probably wait to rent it, since it'll be on video soon enough.

I think I'll share a joke I got in email today for your reading pleasure:

A teacher was wrapping up class, and began discussing the next days final exam. She said there would be no acceptable excuse for not showing up for the exam, barring a dire medical condition or an death in the immediate family.

One smartass student said, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?"

The whole classroom burst into laughter. After the giggles had subsided, the teacher glared at the student, and said "That's not an excuse; you can just use your other hand to write."

In great exciting merger news today, Food line has bought Hannaford Supermarkets. Lock, stock and barrel. Like Hannaford? Work there? Not anymore. Bigger is so much not better. Also, a fun bit of news: Coke (the other huge corporation of Earth) has created an exclusive arrangement with the New York Racing Association (NYRA) that its products will be the only thing sold at the Saratoga track. So you can't buy Saratoga water in Saratoga anymore - even if you carry American Express. Coke's own bottled water product, Dasani, will be the only option for you.

Entry... 8/31/99 2:27am

I'm back! Miss me? I was on vacation. I haven't been on a real vacation in years. I went to Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio. I gotta say it was great. So if you have a chance to grab a friend and head away from it all for a week, I highly recommend it. I was able to ride all of the big rides that I wanted to, although I did miss one - some sort of indoor "space adventure" coaster. Probably like Space Mountain in Disney World. It looks lame on the website, so I am glad I missed it. It only has a 63 foot lift for the first fall, and 1,932 feet of track. A wittle baby coaster, I say. So, anyway, back to the vacation adventures (part one).

I don't have any pictures developed yet, as I think there are like 3 left to take in the camera. Rest assured, I will post those deemed suitable for a family oriented website such as this (do I hear you choking on your sandwich?) I can't believe how expensive it is to buy film and batteries. I just don't take pictures often enough to justify buying large packs of either. I suppose that you can save money by doing it that way. In fact, Price Chopper is selling 4 rolls of Fuji film (ASA 200) for 12 bucks. That's not bad, right? Anyway, drove out to Ohio, and got a room in a nice hotel in a lake side hamlet called Port Clinton. If you didn't already know it, Port Clinton is the self proclaimed "Walleye Capital of the World." Be amazed. I, in fact, did not see a single walleye, nor any pictorial or artistic representations thereof. I did, however, see a Burger King, a Bob's Big Boy, a highway, and a dirty swimming pool (devoid of the aforementioned walleye) from my hotel window view.

My ex-wife and daughter met me at the hotel first thing the next morning. They drove in from a layover in Detroit. The weather was actually very good for a few days of walking around a large outdoor area. Overcast, warm, and not too wet. We did have a few moments of rain, and one downpour in the two days, but they were over soon enough. In fact, the heaviest rain on the second day happened after we had done the water rides, and while I was waiting in the longest line of my visit there. It was for the "Power Tower" - a device that either shoots you up 180 feet on a pressurized cushion of air, or lifts you up and drops you that 180 feet (and then you bounce on a cushion of air). I choose to drop and bounce, myself. Anyway, when the rain came down, I just stayed in line, and most of the people in front of me dove out of line. I got up to the front quickly on that one, and gave it a try. The view out onto the lake from 180 feet up was actually the best thing about the ride. The longest wait I had was about an hour. This was for the Mantis, the standup coaster. It was worth the wait. The best ride I have been on anywhere, to date. I got a picture of myself riding it, but I gave it to my daughter to keep. Did all the standard amusement park stuff: trying to win stuffed animals (I spent a lot on the games of chance, but won nothing. My ex-wife turned out to be good at the water gun game and won prizes on both days. I turned out to be really bad at getting wiffle balls into squares and basketballs into tiny hoops. My friend got a prize, too, as I recall...Gee, that makes me the big loser, huh?), eating really-bad-for-you-brand food, people watching, and listening to people on the rides scream. Oh wait... that was my daughter screaming.

On the way back East, we stopped in Cleveland and drove through the downtown section to the piers. I used to live near Cleveland when I was in junior high school. It brought back many memories; all good. I had a great time in those years there. Of course, I never drove there, as I was too young, so I had to do some feeling about. I found where my Dad used to work. Turns out that it is now right next door to the new Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I also drove down to the marina where we had kept our sailboat. I took a few pictures, as there were many photo oppportunities to be had. The song of the day was Paul Simon's "Call me Al." And that pretty much did it for Cleveland.

(Reader's note: The following paragraph occurs in Canada, and is thus written in Canadian, eh.) My friend and I both wanted to see Niagara Falls, eh, on the way back to Albany, and do the "Maid of the Mist" boat tour, so we crossed over to the Canadian side, eh. We looked all aboot and walked all over downtown, eh. The main street there is called "Clifton Hill" and it is just jammed full of hotels, attractions, tourists, wax museums, tobacconists, tourists, beer gardens, tourists, and the best smelling waffle cones in the world, eh. Oh yeah... they tasted pretty good, too. Hoser. Eh. Ok, like that's enough aboot Niagara Falls, eh, cause I'm getting tired of typing like this. Ok, take off, eh.
Click here to see a web cam of the falls, eh.
Click here to see a store in Niagara Falls that I didn't go into, eh.

I got my big old car ("The Beast") out of storage today. Well, it was in the garage. I haven't used it in over a week. It wasn't happy about the whole getting up and going to work thing. But then, neither was I. It had some sort of weird sticky goo on the left side of the windshield, and all over the drivers side window. I drove to work looking through this stuff, having no time to stop. I had a perfectly normal (meaning rotten) morning at work (and I will spare you from my whine here, but let's just say I was deemed officially "back from vacation" at 10:23am when my bad mood returned) and left for lunch at 1:30pm. I got some pizza, and decided to swing back down Western Avenue, so that I could stop at a gas station and clean the windows. The first station had no window cleaning stuff out, just paper towels. So, on to the next one. This one had the little squeegee things and the buckets, but the solution was dry. No joy there. I stopped at a third station, and they also had no window washing facilities. While I was there, I got this huge urge for chocolate and bought one of those honking huge king size Hershey's bars (no Almonds). I was determined to get my windows clean at this point, and drove out of my way to a Mobil station, parked at their pump, and cleaned my windows. I was all ready to rebuff the clerk if they tried to give me a hard time for "stealing" their fluid without buying anything. I suppose I could have flashed the candy bar and claimed I bought it yesterday.

Sad night tonight. I went up to the lake with my Dad and we hauled his boat out of the water. If you are curious about what type of boat he has, here is more info about it, and here is a guy that has spent a lot of TLC on his. The lack of rain and snow melt this year have really curtailed the summer season. Everything went well, and the boat is now unnaturally posed upon his front lawn (where a boat ought not to be!) It'll be there awhile, too. He can't put it into storage until October; after the local fairs and stock car racing is done for the year. I have to get up to the lake and collect my own boat fairly quickly. Perhaps that's a project for this coming weekend.

Here's a couple random sites that I stumbled across today: Geek Squad - at your service computer support (for a fee) and Mr Skin claims to keep track of when any star you can think of has been naked in a movie.

Entry... 8/31/99 10:17am

In the back of my car, rattling about, are a set of golf clubs. A good friend of mine sold them to me just before I went on vacation. They're really nice. So now I find myself making plans to tee off with him for a round, perhaps this long weekend if the weather holds out. He and I went to a driving range, and he showed me some very helpful pointers on the swing, addressing the ball, keeping my hands lined up, head down, eye on the ball, be the ball Danny, be the ball, and wow.... so many things to think (or not think) about! How can this be fun? Well, we'll see how the first couple rounds here. I can't help but think I am entering some new phase of life, and the clubs merely symbolize this transition. Or maybe I should finish my first cup of coffee here, and stop romanticizing things so much.

I also forgot to mention that I went miniature golfing last week for the first time in I don't know how many years. I was soundly trounced (by one stroke) by my companions. I started off really well - two holes in one in a row, but fell apart on the 14th hole when I double bogied. Ouch.

Entry... 8/31/99 4:54pm

Another working day shudders to a stop. Woo boy. It's been a good one. I was able to keep from stabbing our DBA prima-donnas (both of them reported in today) to death with a ball point pen. One of them actually opened an issue ticket with the following: "Working offline (not on the network) on my laptop at home, and I couldn't see the mail in my inbox." No duh. Really? The poor guy. What could possibly be the source of his trouble. Hmm. Could it be that he isn't even logged onto the network? Or perhaps it's just because he's stupid? Could it be both? Next thing we know he'll be calling in "Um, yeah, I was in my car see, and my computer is at home, and I couldn't get my email. Can you look into why?"

Need a cliche? There's one for every occasion at The Cliche Finder. You never know when you'll need soothing platitudes such as "Busier than a long tailed cat in a rocking chair factory" and "I'm gonna pound a mudhole in your ass and walk it dry!"

Here's a good site for reference: Dictionary.com